Modern Alternative Mama

Family Life Updates

2010-02-28T20:00:00.007-05:00

**We've moved!!**

Please visit our new site, ModernAlternativeMama.com.

Comments on this post have been locked and updates are no longer being made to this page. Please click here to view this article on the new site.

Today is the LAST DAY to register for the 30-Day Eat More Fat Challenge! See you tomorrow!

We have BIG news to share with you all today! Some bigger than others. :)

A month or so ago, I joined CAPPA, and I am now pursuing certification in Childbirth Education and Lactation Specialist. I've been very busy working on research, writing papers, reading books, and doing other things towards these certifications, among other projects. We've also converted our music room into a playroom/meeting room for when I am certified and can hold classes here. I'll be posting about that and showing you pictures of that room in a later post!

Tomorrow is our NEW SITE LAUNCH!! The address is http://www.modernalternativemama.com/ and it is currently live, if you're too eager to wait until tomorrow to check it out. If you've subscribed to me here, I believe you will need to go over there and re-subscribe. I would love it if you did! Comments will be locked over here starting with this post, so you'll need to hop over to the new site anyway if you want to comment. All future posts will be posted ONLY on the new site!

And, to help you along with visiting the new site, I will have a WEEK OF GIVEAWAYS!! Every single day (Monday - Friday) there will be a new giveaway! Here is a sneak peek about the posts I'll have and the giveaways:

Monday -- 30-Day Eat More Fat Challenge! Giveaway: Baby toys (a talented friend is making them, more details to follow)

Tuesday -- Baby Steps in the Medicine Cabinet. Giveaway: Modern Alternative Mama Soothing Skin Cream.

Wednesday -- Review of Seventh Generation household products. Giveaway: Seventh Generation Home Starter Kit, including glass cleaner, all-purpose cleaner, toilet cleaner, shower cleaner, tub & tile cleaner, kitchen cleaner, natural paper towels, and reusable tote.

Thursday -- Orange sherbet recipe (sugar free!!). Giveaway: Coconut flour from Tropical Traditions!

Friday -- Top 10 Posts and new features! Giveaway: Tweedlebugs Diaper, cloth wipes, and wipe solution package!

Join us next week to read all the awesome new entries and enter all the giveaways!

A small family update -- we are about to start the GAPS diet here. We've been easing our way into it for awhile but we have to just take the plunge. I'll be posting on it more later for those who are interested, but there's plenty of information on other blogs right now. Keeper of the Home, and Kelly the Kitchen Kop have both posted a fair amount about the subject. Look for more on that on the new site!

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Baby Steps in the Kitchen, 3

2010-02-27T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Time for the next three steps in the Baby Steps in the Kitchen Series! If you have missed the first two, go back and read part 1 and part 2!

7. Replace white flour and white flour products with healthier alternatives (whole wheat, spelt, etc.)

8. Choose healthier oils

9. Try making your own chicken stock instead of buying broth or bouillon cubes, and your own soups!

Okay, so, why these three steps? Good question! Read on for more information!

White flour is basically a non-food. It is stripped of nearly all its nutrients when the hull is removed from the kernal. Most of us know that white flour isn't good for us for all of these reasons, because health experts are constantly asking us to switch to whole-grain alternatives. Right now, I'm going to tell you the same thing: get some whole grains! Buy brown rice instead of white (and NO instant!), whole grain bread, and whole grain flours to bake with. Spelt is an even better option for some -- lower in gluten and generally less "messed with." It can be found at many health food stores and before we went grain-free, I used only spelt flour in my baking for a long time. There will be more steps about grains later, but for right now, just switch to whole grains! Simple, easily available at any grocery store, and not too expensive!

Oils -- Good fats are essential in your diet. I've written two posts about fats so far, so I'm not going to write about why you need them here in detail. People use oil for a lot of things, too, like frying, in many boxed mixes (we'll talk about those later), baking from scratch, putting on bread, dressing salads, etc. Hydrogenated oils and even most liquid vegetable oils are not good for you, so you should limit your consumption. Replace them with healthy oils. These, too, are generally affordable ($4 - $5 for a pound of butter on up to $20 for a jar of coconut oil or bottle of really good olive oil) and easy to find. They're also very nutrient-dense. If you aren't sure of ways to use all these new fats, you'll want to check out my "30-Day Eat More Fat Challenge," starting on March 1st! (Only 2 more days to register!!)

Chicken stock is a wonderful food. Fresh, homemade chicken stock, that is. Canned broths (and canned soups) and bouillon cubes are NOT good. They're mostly made of salt and MSG so that they're "meat flavored" but contain little to no actual meat. (That's why you can get vegetarian "chicken" flavored broth.) These are highly processed, and we've already talked about avoiding MSG or other packaged food ingredients. And although there may be brands out there that are acceptable, be wary of any brand that says "natural flavors," "hydrolyzed" "autolyzed" etc. -- this is MSG too. But, it's so easy to avoid if you just make your own! Buy a whole chicken or turkey, or buy bones (thighs, backs, necks are great -- feet are even better if you can find them! I haven't tried that yet). Put the bones in a large stock pot (at least 8 quarts; 16 is even better) and fill with water. Add vegetable scraps -- onion ends, carrot peels, celery pieces, etc. -- and arguably, a little apple cider vinegar (I tried it once or twice and it didn't make a difference for me, but some swear by it) and turn it on low. Then walk away, for about 24 hours. You'll come back to a big pot of rich, golden broth. This broth is full of calcium and other minerals, it makes great soups and gravies and lots of other food, freezes well, is very healing, and more. It's a wonderful, all-purpose food, and it couldn't be simpler or cheaper to make. A quart of good-quality stock in the store would cost you $2 - $5, depending on brand. At home you can make a whole gallon (or more) for that much! Stock is so wonderful, I could write an entire post about it. This is a small change that is easy, will bring a ton of extra nutrition to your diet, and actually SAVES you money! Why not do it?

What are your next three steps, if you're further along? How are you doing on these? How have your changes been going over the last couple of weeks? Is there anything else you'd like to see in this series?

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Oopsie....

2010-02-26T20:18:00.004-05:00

Okay, I'll admit it. I forgot to do tonight's post.

I've been super, super busy working behind the scenes, though. Monday is the launch of the new site and next week I'm going to have several really awesome giveaways for you -- one everyday!

There will be details about the new site and all the giveaways on Sunday night, so that you know exactly what's going on. It's not quite ready yet, so I won't tell you how to find it....

How about an extra recipe to make up for it?

Stuffed Mushrooms
When I was a teenager, we went to the Olive Garden to celebrate someone’s birthday and had stuffed mushrooms. I created this recipe after that experience in an attempt to copy those mushrooms. I later adapted it once we were dairy-free and it’s just as good that way. My father requested this dish at a recent holiday, it’s so good.

Ingredients:
8 oz. button mushrooms, stems removed and reserved
½ c. breadcrumbs
4 oz. clams, chopped
2 oz. asiago or parmesan cheese, grated*
½ tsp. oregano
1 tsp. basil
1 tsp. sea salt
½ tsp. black pepper
2 tbsp. olive oil
*Optional

Directions:
Sautee mushrooms in olive oil until soft and juices are running out. Place in a baking pan. In a bowl, mix together breadcrumbs, clams, cheese (if using), oregano, basil, salt and pepper. Stuff mixture into each mushroom. Top with cheese if desired. Bake at 350 for 10 – 15 min. or until cheese is melted. (If you’re not using the cheese, you don’t need to bake it, you can serve it immediately.) Makes 3 – 4 servings.

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Ham and Potato Soup

2010-02-25T20:00:00.007-05:00

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**This post has been entered in Pennywise Platters at Nourishing Gourmet, Ultimate Recipe Swap at Life as Mom, Food on Fridays at Ann Kroeker and Fight Back Fridays at Food Renegade!**

Only 3 days left to register for the 30-Day Eat More Fat Challenge!

This recipe was sort of an accident. I was planning to make ham and bean soup, but discovered a few days earlier that both my kids are allergic to beans. So, that was a no-go. Ben suggested potatoes as a substitute and I ran with it. This is what I came up with.

Ingredients:
1/4 c. coconut oil
1/2 medium yellow onion, diced
2 stalks celery, chopped
3 carrots, diced
4 medium potatoes, chopped
1 c. leftover ham, chopped
6 c. ham stock (I made mine from a ham we'd had a couple nights earlier)
1 tsp. salt (or to taste)
1 tsp. thyme
1 - 2 c. coconut milk
1 c. kale

Directions:
Heat the coconut oil in a large soup pot. Add onion, celery, and carrot and sautee until slightly softened. Add potatoes, ham, ham stock, and spices. Cook for 2 - 3 hours, until all vegetables are soft. Add coconut milk and kale and allow the soup to simmer for 30 - 40 minutes longer, until kale is wilted. I served mine with green onions on top. You could add bacon, or cheese if you eat that.

It's yummy and a good source of vegetables with the kale! Next time I might try adding mushrooms too! I'm betting you could use chicken stock if you didn't have ham stock but I haven't tried.

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Raw Honey

2010-02-24T20:00:00.006-05:00

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**This post has been entered in Things I Love Thursdays at The Diaper Diaries and Frugal Fridays at Life as Mom!**

Note: It's frugal because it is cheap and it has SO many awesome uses!!

Raw honey is a really great food. In fact, it's not just a food. It's also a medicine! I thought, since next week the first "Baby Steps in the Medicine Cabinet" is coming up, I might give you a place to start with home remedies.

Honey is a natural substance produced by bees to feed their young. It is thick and rich with a characteristic taste, which can change subtly depending on the bees' diet and location. It contains a lot of beneficial bacteria, which can help to kill bad bacteria in your system, balance yeast, and much more (depends on who you ask). It is great for baking, mixing in drinks, or just eating off a spoon. It is 1.5 times as sweet as table sugar so you don't need as much of it.

That's just a quick summary of honey's benefits, though. There are many, many more! Here are others:

*Honey is an effective cough syrup. It has been shown to be more effective than medicinal cough syrups and much safer for kids age 1 - 6 (and for adults!). It can help to kill the bacteria in your throat (if it's raw) as well as coating your throat and soothing it.

*Some say honey can increase fertility, especially when paired with raw goat's milk (especially in men).

*Honey can be used as a salve to treat wounds and ulcers, more safely than antibiotics and with no side effects. In parts of Europe, it is put on wounds and then the wound is bandaged, and the honey will keep the wound clean and help it to heal. (This is not accepted in the U.S. in general, unfortunately.) At home, use honey on burns and other wounds and dress it with clean gauze, instead of using an antibiotic cream.

*Honey and lemon, when used together, can help you lose weight by making fat stores into useable energy. Drink some honey-ginger lemonade to kick-start your metabolism and weight loss! (Which is also a great morning sickness cure, by the way.)

*Honey can help to cure allergies! By taking a teaspoon per day, a person can build up an immunity to the dust, pollen, and molds that are naturally found in the honey (which won't make you sick because of the good bacteria in it). This is where being LOCAL is really important, so you're exposed to the bacteria from your own environment.

*Honey can help cancer, because it has anti-tumor properties (check the resources for a link to a published study on this).

*Honey is a good moisturizer and can be used as a facial cleanser or mask, and in homemade shampoos.

*Honey is antibacterial, antifungal, antiviral, and it never spoils, so it can be used for many things and kept for a long time! Honey may crystallize, but this is normal. Heat the honey gently ON THE STOVE in a water bath (microwaves are bad!) and it will become clear again.

Remember, all these benefits (and more! check the resources) are achieved by RAW honey. The pasteurized honey you buy in the regular grocery store won't have all these amazing properties.

There is a special kind of honey called Manuka honey, which is produced in New Zealand. It is very strong and used for medicial purposes. It's rather expensive, too, but it can cure many different conditions, including MRSA staph infections (with no side effects and the MRSA can't become resistant to it!). Read the resources below to learn more about it. (I looked up buying some awhile back but 8 oz. can be up to $45!)

Resources
Raw Honey Benefits
Really RAW Honey Science
WHFoods Honey
Natural Health Ezine
Benefits of Manuka Honey

Do you use raw honey? What do you use it for? Where do you get yours? What's your favorite benefit (anything I haven't mentioned)?

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Wooden Toys Winner!

2010-02-24T12:00:00.001-05:00

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Using Random.org, I selected the winner for the wooden toy giveaway. It is:

Pat (douglassandpat@yahoo.com)

Congratulations, Pat! Please email me, ktietje85@gmail.com with your mailing address by Friday, February 26th to claim your prize.

Next week we're launching the new site (details on Sunday) and with it, we'll have a WEEK OF GIVEAWAYS! I have skin cream, baby toys, a Seventh Generation Starter Kit, Tropical Traditions Coconut flour, and more!! Follow the new site for details on all of those giveaways!

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Baby Steps in Personal Care

2010-02-23T20:00:00.006-05:00

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**This post has been entered in Finer Things Fridays at Amy's Finer Things!**

Only 5 more days to register for the 30-Day Eat More Fat Challenge!

The Baby Steps series is SO popular, I decided to do all of the kitchen posts on Saturdays, and do the other series on Tuesdays instead of doing zhealth News Tuesdays! So on the next several Tuesdays, look for posts on personal care, the medicine cabinet, green cleaning, and possibly more. What else would you like to see?

Here are the first three baby steps in personal care:

1) Replace toothpaste with a fluoride-free version (especially for kids)

2) Replace deodorant with aluminum-free version or abandon it

3) Switch to natural facial cleanser

Why those?

Fluoride is dangerous to your health, especially if swallowed (and especially for kids!!). It is not necessary to help your teeth. Many natural toothpastes are made without it. Some of these can be found for about the same price as the typical national brands, so it's not an expensive switch. It's not a big change in your routine, either, so it's an easy first step.

Deodorant (specifically antiperspirant) is dangerous because of the aluminum. The aluminum (which your body does not ever need) blocks your sweat glands. This is how your body cools off and releases toxins. If it cannot detox, then these toxins build up in the lymph nodes (as does the aluminum). For this reason, antiperspirant has been said to cause breast cancer. Your body needs to be able to release these toxins. So, it is better to use a simple, non-aluminum deodorant that helps mask odors, or really, nothing at all. This may be a big idea to swallow (most natural deodorant brands do still contain aluminum, by the way), but it is a really, really important one. Decreasing and eventually eliminating your exposure to heavy metals is critical to gaining optimal health. Cost remains minimal here, and the overall savings on health care could be huge!

Natural facial cleanser is an easy switch. You're looking for something that doesn't contain sodium lauryl sulfate, polysorbate-80, or any of the other dangerous chemicals. Castile-soap based cleansers are a great option (that is, only vegetable oils in the soap, essential oils for fragrance are okay too). There are several great options out there, which actually work better. I've found that using a natural cleanser has eliminated my need for additional facial stuff (masks, pimple cream, etc.) and my skin is much smoother and less red. Cost is minimal here too (and cheaper if you don't need to buy the extra stuff!) and a very simple change.

What are your top 3 steps, if you have already made changes? Can you make these changes work in your routine?

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Things I've Learned About Allergies

2010-02-22T20:00:00.008-05:00

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Don't forget to register for the 30-Day Eat More Fat challenge!

Many times as we've gone through dealing with my childrens' allergies, I've felt it was terribly unfair that my children were always reacting and I had to be hypervigilant about everything they ate and on the lookout for any tiny sign of reaction, when so many other peoples' kids were completely fine! And many of them didn't try nearly as hard for the natural, organic lifestyle! Where was the justice?

These are my thoughts in my dark hours, of course. Most of the time I'm just happy that I'm paying attention and that I'm helping them feel better and hopefully heal from their allergies. Then there are those times that I've heard other parents make comments that sounded strange to me...and I began to wonder, are there children experiencing minor food sensitivity symptoms, but they don't realize it? I've gone back and forth, wondering what might be "weird" but normal, and what might really be a sign of sensitivity. But after talking with other moms of 'allergy' children, I've come up with a list of things I've learned by dealing with kids with allergies (I could be wrong, but this is what I believe to be true, and our pediatrician has discussed some of these points with us):

1) Eczema is a sign of allergies.
Yes, always. It could be food, laundry detergents, local pollution, who knows. But it is allergies, not just something children get. All the allergic children I know (including mine) will flare up with eczema badly if they are exposed to an allergen; but when they're not, their skin is perfectly clear! No creams touch it as long as they are still exposed to the allergen. A LOT of kids have eczema...and also, food sensitivities their parents haven't realized.

2) Cradle cap is a sign of allergies.
This is common in young babies, but any that persists for more than a few days or gets bad is actually a sign of some kind of allergy (usually milk, since it shows up so early). My daughter had this horribly (as did a lot of other allergy babies). My son, since we discovered his allergies almost immediately and cut the offending foods, never did.

3) Reflux is a sign of allergies.
So many moms say "my baby has reflux!! I hope they outgrow it! At least it's not allergies!" Sorry to let you know, but in almost all cases, it IS allergies. Many of these moms learn when their babies are older that they DO have an allergy to something. It really just is a sign that the baby has an allergy, generally, again, usually to milk. Especially if it's accompanied by screaming or projectile vomitting.

4) Sleep disturbances are a sign of allergies.
While sleep disturbances can happen for MANY reasons (growth spurts, teething, routine disruptions, etc.), continued night waking with no obvious cause, especially after a year old, are often a sign of allergies. Bekah continued to wake up several times a night well past a year (as have many other allergy kids) and STILL wakes up at night, at age 2, if she eats something that isn't good for her. If sleep disturbance is persistent and combined with other symptoms, consider allergies.

5) Diarrhea and/or constipation are a sign of allergies.
If a baby's system isn't ready for a food, or s/he is allergic to it, diarrhea or constipation can result. It's not normal for any food to just "cause diarrhea." That only happens if the body is not digesting it properly. This is related to the next sign, so I'll discuss it further in a second....

6) Undigested food in the poop is a sign of allergies.
If the body is handling a food properly, there should be no trace of it when it comes out the other end. It's a myth that certain foods -- grapes, corn, beans, cranberries, etc. -- just cause "nasty poop." No. That is not normal. That is a sign of allergy to that food! I have heard over and over that grapes cause nasty poop, but when Bekah eats a ton of grapes (and she is allergic to SO MANY foods), there are no issues. We only get the "nasty poop" when the food is clearly not good for her! I've talked to a lot of other moms of allergic kids who have said the same thing.

7) Persistent diaper rash is a sign of allergies.
If your child eats something, has nasty poop, and then gets a diaper rash, that is a sign of allergies too. Yes, kids can get diaper rash for a bunch of reasons, but if it happens frequently and is hard to get rid of, consider allergies. It may be an allergy to the brand of diapers or detergents. Or, it may be food.

8) Stomachaches, fussiness, gas, etc. can be a sign of allergies
This can also be a sign of illness, of course, but if it happens after eating particular foods, consider allergies. Eating a food that causes an allergic reaction will likely upset the child's stomach and make him/her not feel well and be irritable. Some will even scream.

None of these symptoms are those of "true" allergies (i.e. the life-threatening, not-breathing kind) but they are signs of serious food sensitivities. And they should be taken seriously. These symptoms can be minor and, if you're not paying attention, seem like nothing. After all, every baby has a fussy day, or a little eczema, or nasty poops every now and then, right? Well...yes, but there's ALWAYS a reason for those things! And food sensitivities are often to blame.

If you notice a pattern of some of these symptoms, no matter how minor, I suggest that you keep a food journal. Write down what your child eats and when, and any symptoms you note and how long after eating the offending food that they occur. Take this to your child's doctor and ask him or her about possible food sensitivities. Try an elimination diet to see if s/he does better without the foods (my guess would be yes!).

It seems like nit-picking, but these small sensitivities are affecting your child's gut health and immune system. Avoiding the foods causing the problems is very important, even if the diet changes are difficult. Believe me -- I know it's hard. But we've been much better off since we've made the changes. Our children sleep better, are happier, and clearly feel better. And we do too.

Have you noticed any symptoms in your children? If you know you have allergic children, what do you think about this list?

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Wooden Toys...GIVEAWAY!

2010-02-21T20:00:00.006-05:00

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Today, we have an awesome giveaway! It's sponsored by CSN Stores. They have a number of great websites, like their Mailboxes site. However, today's giveaway is from CSNBaby and is a prize package of wooden toys! Here they are:

If you would like to win, there will be ways to enter at the end of the post. But first, why wooden toys?

These days, when plastic toys (complete with batteries, music, and flashing lights) are the most common playthings, wooden toys have taken a back seat. But wooden toys used to be the only type of toys children had. With all the new options (which, with their bright colors, look so appealing in the store and on TV), why would we want to go back to wood?

Wooden toys have MANY great benefits.

They are SAFE.
With many plastic toys coming out of China and new scares everyday about BPA and other chemicals being found in toys, or lead being found in paint or dyes, it's hard to know what is really safe to play with. American (or Canadian or European) made wooden toys are safe, and are generally not painted, or are painted with lead-free paint. Buying from small, local manufacturers supports small business and ensures you know exactly what is in the toys you're buying.

They LAST.
So many plastic toys are flimsy. Throw them down the stairs once or step on them (as children do from time to time) and they're broken and have to be thrown out. Wooden toys are very durable and will last through being mistreated. They can be passed down from child to child and even down generations. They'll still look just as nice as they ever did, requiring little more than a fresh coat of paint, if that.

They foster CREATIVITY.
Many of the plastic toys have one function. There are a thousand plastic dolls out there: some eat, some wet, some are "sick," some are for dress-up, etc. There are toys that play a song if a button is pressed. But once this function has been thoroughly investigated, the toy is useless and typically tossed aside. Wooden toys, however, don't have just one use. In fact, they don't "do" anything. They require children to play their own games and use their imagination to play. A single doll can be any number of different things! A kitchen set or a rocking horse can be many different things, too. A rocking horse could be "just a horse," or it could be a cowboy's trusty mate, a police officer's way to get around, or not a horse at all -- perhaps a zebra or something foreign! Children today need a chance to have their imagination stimulated.

They help ATTENTION SPAN.
When a toy fosters creativity, children play with it longer. They rehearse their lives and come up with elaborate games to play with the toys. Children who are constantly surrounded by beeping, flashing, single-function toys will go rapidly from toy to toy as they become bored. If this is constant their attention spans will be short because they are used to getting bored with things quickly. (TV has also been blamed for causing this.)

There are other great articles about wooden toys:
Benefits of Wooden Toys
Safe and Natural Wooden Toys

Now, how can you enter to win the wooden toys above?

1. Leave a comment below (with your name, not anonymous) about why you would like to win the toys and/or why you think wooden toys are good

2. Visit CSN Baby and tell me what other wooden toys you think your family would enjoy (future giveaway...?)

3. Subscribe to me via RSS or email (or tell me that you already do).

4. Follow me on Twitter.

5. Tweet about this giveaway.

6. Email this giveaway to 5 friends, or post about it on Facebook.

Please leave each entry in a SEPARATE comment. So if you do 1, 2, and 4, you must three different comments! I will use Random.org to generate a number and then whichever comment that is (numbered from first received to last) will be the winner! There are 6 possible entries!

The giveaway closes at 12 AM EST on Tuesday, February 23rd. I will announce the winner at 8 PM Wednesday, February 24th. The winner needs to contact me via email by Friday, February 26th with his/her full name and mailing address to claim the prize.

Thanks, and good luck!!

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Baby Steps in the Kitchen, Part 2

2010-02-20T20:00:00.006-05:00

Daily Attitude

2010-02-19T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Today I read a great post over at Raising Arrows called "The Me Time Myth." I suggest going over there to read that post before you read this one. I'll wait. :)

Okay, now. I'm betting a lot of you disagree with it. But I don't. I think it's very right, and very important. Who we are isn't the person we are in the small stolen moments. Who we are isn't who we wish to be once all the "work" is done (especially as a parent!). Who we are is what we do everyday, all day long. And that's how it should be. If you don't like what you do everyday, what you surround yourself with -- change that. But having a mindset of needing to escape from it to be "yourself" is going to lead to frustration and anger.

I've found that most of the time, I enjoy including my kids in my daily activities. I might want to go out to lunch with a friend, spend time cooking, go shopping, etc. But I enjoy bringing my kids with me. I often choose to even when I don't "have" to (like when Ben is home). I like having them with me and involved in my activities, in general.

There are times when having my children with me isn't a good idea. Such as, if I'm cooking with knives or when I was teaching and needed to pay attention to my student. It's one of the reasons I closed the business -- I did not like feeling under pressure and like I needed my children to "go away" for awhile. It made me angry and frustrated with them. I didn't like feeling that way, so I needed to step away. It's why I try not to take on time-sensitive projects too often, because life is unpredictable with children and they need me first.

So, I suggest to you, our attitude should be joyful towards our daily routine. We should enjoy doing laundry, cooking, shopping, and caring for our children. Not all moments will be joyful, obviously (like when dinner's boiling over, the phone is ringing, and all the children are screaming) but we should attempt to enjoy WHY we are doing them. We are raising children and that is the biggest and best job ever!

Like Amy, every time I feel like I need some "me" time, I'm impatient to get away from my family and get away from the day-to-day activities. I'm short with them and angry that they need me so much. I'm not joyful and purposeful in the way I care for them anymore. I don't like being that way.

Instead of seeking "me" time, I need to focus on the activities that need done everyday, and give them all my attention and loving care. I honestly feel that most people don't think this way. Most people believe strongly that everyone needs time alone. But unless you're taking a few quiet moments to pray, you shouldn't need time alone. Your time should be spent with your family and your friends, blessing them. You shouldn't try to minimize parenting by hoping your kids will go away and play alone so you can work on a project, or hoping they'll go to bed early every night so you can watch TV or take a bath. If it works out that you happen to get some time alone, that's great, but your parenting should be based on your family's needs first, not your own. That is selfish and that is not how God treats us.

Ben and I both seem to have a different perspective on this, honestly. Ben believes in "me" time. This has led to some fights. He will want to go out by himself and say "Well, I encourage you to go too! You just never do!" And I do go out, usually during the day, and I almost always take at least one child with me. And I don't mind doing that, until Ben says "But you SHOULD have time to yourself!" It just isn't feasible right now, with a nursing infant. But when he says it then I suddenly feel the 'stress' of not having the time to myself, that I suddenly feel like I am entitled to it. It seems unfair to me that Ben should get this time and I don't. Then we fight because Ben desperately wants to get away and believes we're both entitled, and I come to feel that way too. Instead, we need to focus on our family first and finding joy in being together and doing what needs to be done instead of those rare times when we can "escape."

I'm not saying any of this because I'm perfect. On bad days I feel the need to escape too. But it needs to be a quiet moment in prayer and a deep breath, with the intention of diving back in, not pulling away. I'm trying to remember this everyday. I hope all of you can feel calm and fulfilled by your daily lives (at least most of the time!).

Take delight in the people around you instead of seeking the elusive "me time." Family time is what you really need.

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Guest Post (Again)!

2010-02-19T08:00:00.003-05:00

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As you know, I was a music teacher before I had kids (private teaching). Today I have a guest post on music education for homeschooling families over at Raising Arrows, Amy's blog. Head over there and check it out!

While you're there, read more of Amy's blog. She has a lot of great information on parenting a large family (she has 5 kids and is expecting again), Biblical training, homeschooling, and lots more! Her blog is one of my recent finds but I'm really enjoying it. I feel like she is where I hope to be in 10 years!

I'm really excited about the opportunity to have a guest post there!

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Coconut Chocolate Muffins

2010-02-18T20:00:00.005-05:00

**This post is linked to Food on Fridays at Ann Kroeker's blog!**

At the moment, we're grain-free, so we were really missing bread. I borrowed the original version of this recipe from Ann Marie at Cheeseslave, then made a few changes to suit our tastes and allergies (we can't do blueberries). I believe she found the recipe in Bruce Fife's Cooking with Coconut Flour: A Delicious, Low-Carb, Gluten-Free Alternative to Wheat. I haven't read the book yet myself, but I'd like to!

Our result was pretty yummy! Bekah LOVES them and eats 8 or 9 per day (I made mini-muffins so that's not as much as it sounds like). Here it is:

Ingredients:
6 eggs, pastured and at room temperature
1/4 c. coconut oil
1/4 c. coconut milk
1/4 c. raw honey
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. coconut flour
1/4 c. raw cacao powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda

Directions:
Cream together honey and coconut oil. Blend in coconut milk, then eggs (if eggs are cold, you will get lumps of coconut oil mix throughout your batter). Add vanilla and salt, stir. Add cacao and stir in, then add coconut flour and baking soda and mix thoroughly (some suggest mixing the dry ingredients separately, but I'm too lazy).

Bake at 400 for 15 min. Or, 10 minutes for mini-muffins. This will make one dozen regular muffins, and 3 dozen or so mini muffins.

These are super nutrient dense, too, without being too sweet and totally grain-free! Coconut is great for you, and so is raw cacao.

Bonus recipe!!

Okay, most of you will NEVER try this. But Bekah loves this. It is "candy" she can have.

Ingredients:
2 oz. unsweetened chocolate (99% pure cacao)
3/4 c. coconut oil
1 vanilla bean, scraped out
1/2 c. unsweetened coconut flakes (opt.)
1 tsp. mint extract (opt.)

Directions:
In a medium saucepan, melt chocolate and coconut oil over low heat. Add the caviar (the part you scraped out) from the vanilla bean. Stir until smooth and mixed. Add coconut flakes and/or mint extract if desired. Pour into a small pan (8x8 or smaller) and freeze for 20 - 30 minutes or until hard. Store, covered, in the fridge.

This is completely unsweetened candy. Super nutrient-dense, super rich. Most of us couldn't stomach it because it is really bitter. But for those who don't have much of a sweet tooth, this is pretty good. You could also add 2 - 3 tbsp. raw honey if you'd like a lightly sweet candy. But it is smooth, rich, and very interesting unsweetened. :)

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Ash Wednesday

2010-02-17T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Today is Ash Wednesday, which is a really, really important holiday for Christians.

Although we celebrate Christmas every year, Jesus never actually commanded us to celebrate His birth. He did, however, command us to celebrate His death and resurrection. Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent, which are the 40 days in preparation for Easter, Christ's resurrection. This is THE holiday for Christians! Jesus died on the Cross to save us, and then rose from the dead -- amazing!

Over the next 40 days, we are called to spend time in prayer, reflecting on Christ's sacrifice for us. Many people have days where they fast during Lent. Catholics do not eat meat on Ash Wednesday or Fridays (I grew up Catholic). Many also choose something else to give up -- specific foods, special activities, etc. These are as a reminder to pray and feel Christ's pain.

There are many good blogs that will be following Lent very closely, including Kitchen Stewardship.

What will you be doing during Lent? How do you celebrate? Say a prayer today for Jesus' sacrifice.

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Health News Tuesday: 'Natural' Deodorants, 'AminoSweet' Scandals

2010-02-16T20:00:00.003-05:00

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ADHD Caused by Lead Exposure, New Study Claims
A variety of environmental causes have been found to cause ADHD, and lead is the most recent culprit.

Love Hormone May Help Autism Symptoms
Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, helps adults with autism, and may have implications in therapy for young children.

FDA Warned Kellogg over Contaminated Waffles
Listeria has been found in Kellogg plant, and the company hasn't cleaned up its act. Be careful what you're buying when you get processed food!

Stop Using 'Natural' Deodorants Until You Read This
Many popular 'natural' deodorant brands still contain aluminum. Read the labels carefully, make your own at home, or just skip it!

Drug Companies Shift Focus to Vaccines
Rather than focusing money on research and development for new drugs, drug companies are now focusing on vaccine development, because they are worth more in profit.

Aspartame Renamed and Marketed as a Natural Sweetener
Aspartame (also called NutraSweet) is a very dangerous artificial sweetener, which is being renamed AminoSweet and is being marketed as "natural." It is not!! Avoid this new product!

I'm looking for a blog carnival to replace Health News Tuesday. Preferably something food or kitchen related. Who has ideas? What would you participate in?

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Eating Fat: How and Why

2010-02-15T20:00:00.008-05:00

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**This post has been linked to Real Food Wednesdays at Cheeseslave and Works for Me Wednesdays at We Are THAT Family!**

Okay, so, I've been harping on eating fat a lot lately! But now I want to get even more indepth about what types of fat you should eat, why, and then give you several meal/snack ideas on how to get more good fats into your diet. In the ideas, I'll be specifically focusing on dairy-free ideas. There is already a great list on how to eat more fat at Cheeseslave's blog that focuses on a lot of dairy-full ideas.

So, fat. It's EVIL in this culture. But here's what you need to know: in fat-free or low-fat products, something has to replace the flavor and calories that fat brings. That is almost universally SUGAR. Sugar is far more evil! Overconsumption of sugar is why we're a nation of people who are overweight and (type II) diabetic! The other day at the store, I looked at a box of Snackwell's fat-free chocolate cookies and the FIRST ingredient was sugar. Before flour! So if you think you're doing a good job on a diet because you're eating these fat-free cookies, no way! You'd be better off eating a tub of lard. For many reasons.

Then there's the perception that we need low-fat, low-calorie meals that are filled with just veggies to be healthy. The average person (and this is according to the government; I don't entirely agree) requires 2000 calories and 65 grams of fat in day. That's about 500 calories each at breakfast and lunch, 700 at dinner (or better, 700 at breakfast and 500 each at lunch and dinner) plus 300 calories of snacks per day. So if you're focusing on a super low-fat lunch of a salad and vegetable soup which contains all of 200 calories, you are way, way under the amount you need per day. A lot of people skip breakfast, too, so that puts you even further down. This opens you up to fatigue, slowed metabolism, weakened immune system, and of course the very likely possibility that you'll end up snacking on junk food later.

It's also known that eating fat helps the absorption of nutrients. It's why even mainstream dieticians recommend eating an oil-based dressing on your salad (of course, they say only a tiny bit and don't overdo the nuts, which I disagree with). There are so many detriments to NOT eating fat, and so many positives to eating it.

As I mentioned in another blog post, the body requires either fat or carbohydrates as energy. Fat is a great energy source isn't actually stored in the body as fat (it's actually burned slower than carbs, but to me it feels "faster" because I'm hungry sooner). Carbohydrates are burned faster by turning into simple sugars (yes, even whole grains -- it's slower and the bran helps, but they still break down into sugars, because that's what carbs are) and spiking your blood sugar. They are then easily stored as fat.

Fat also does many great things for our bodies, including:
*Balances hormones (including serotonin, responsible for mood; and serotonin, which tells you when to stop eating)
*Develops babies' brains
*Improves digestion and absorption of nutrients
*Saturated fat composes about 50% of our cells, so eating it helps cellular regeneration
*Many more! (read the resources below)

How much fat should you get in your diet per day? According to Weston A. Price Foundation, anywhere from 30 - 80% of one's calories per day should be from fat (high percentages being for therapeutic diets, not normal ones). On average, 37% is normal, which translates to around 97 grams per day (significantly more than the U.S. RDA's "65 grams or less").

If that's true, how do we go about getting more fat into our diets? Here are several dairy-free ideas:

*Smoothies with coconut milk or coconut oil added (or coconut cream if you can get some)
*Coconut milk ice cream made with honey and extra coconut oil
*Potatoes fried in coconut oil, lard, bacon grease, or beef tallow
*French fries made in beef tallow
*Grass-fed burgers cooked with extra beef tallow and grilled onions (add bacon too!)
*Bacon and pastured eggs cooked in bacon grease
*Eggs scrambled in beef tallow with avocado
*Coconut flour muffins made with coconut oil, and topped with sunflower butter or real butter (if you can eat dairy)
*Carrot or celery sticks dipped in sunflower butter (or peanut butter)
*Sausage fried in lard with peppers and onions
*Cream soups made with coconut milk and oil

Add cheese, cream, or butter to anything if you can do dairy!

Now that you've read about how and why to eat fat, it's time for a CHALLENGE! Starting on March 1st, I am launching a 30-Day Eat More Fat Challenge. Here's how the challenge works:

*Register for the challenge
*Each person will have a username throughout this challenge so that it is anonymous to other readers (this is because we'll be sharing height/weight/diet information)
*Each day, I will post a new tip or idea on fat: how to eat more, random fact about why it's good, etc.
*Each week, all the participants will come back to the blog (so, Mar. 8, 15, 22, and 29; final results on Mar. 31) to "check in" on a variety of factors (detailed below)
*The participant who does the best in the most categories (details below) will win either a copy of my new cookbook, or a jar of my Soothing Skin Cream (similar to the homemade diaper rash cream recipe I posted earlier), winner's choice.

Measures:
*Most weight lost
*Most (healthy!) fat consumed (fat sources added to meals or snacks)
*Most creative way(s) to add fat to your diet

Each week, participants will report the following:
*How much they weigh
*The fats/fattening foods that they ate each day (i.e. "organic bacon grease and eggs at breakfast, olive oil and almonds at lunch, coconut oil at dinner")
*The most interesting fat-filled meals they prepared in the last week

Rules:
1) All participants MUST officially register and agree that their username and other information can be posted to the site (real names won't be used)
2) Participants must come to every weekly check-in, including the final check in
3) All fat consumed must be HEALTHY fats. That is, coconut oil, organic lard, organic palm shortening, organic beef tallow, butter, ghee, sustainably produced meat, dairy, nuts, eggs, etc. The following fats do not count: vegetable oil, peanut oil, anything containing trans fats, commercial fried food, processed foods containing fat, factory-farmed meats, eggs, milk. (For your convenience, I'll post a chart of approximately how much fat common foods contain on Mar. 1)
4) The winner must submit his or her mailing address for the prize to be sent by April 3rd, 2010.

Please feel free to spam this contest everywhere!

Resources
Taking the Fear Out of Eating Fat
Benefits of Eating Coconut Oil
Proven Health Benefits of Saturated Fats

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Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T20:00:00.002-05:00

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Happy Valentine's Day!

Tonight, being Sunday, will be spent with our small group from church. We aren't celebrating in any particular way. I'll keep it short for tonight.

How are you celebrating Valentine's Day? Tell me all about it!

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Baby Steps in the Kitchen

2010-02-13T20:00:00.008-05:00

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**This post has been entered in Things I Love Thursday at The Diaper Diaries and Finer Things Fridays at Amy's Finer Things!**

Welcome to the first post in the Baby Steps series! This series is intended for all those who want to make changes to their lifestyles but have no idea where to start. For those of you who are farther along in the journey, feel free to leave your ideal "first three steps" in the comment section. I'm sure many will have different opinions about what's most important, so hearing from others would be great too!

With no further adieu (fun word, lol), here are my first three baby steps:

1. Buy organic, pastured eggs (instead of factory-farmed)

2. Buy some organic produce: whatever you can afford from the dirty dozen; starting with whatever you consume the most of (peaches, apples, bell peppers, celery, nectarines, strawberries, cherries, kale, lettuce, grapes, carrots, pears; that is in order of most to least pesticides, but all are high in pesticides)

3. Start reading food labels and pick one "bad" food to avoid (I suggest high fructose corn syrup)

Okay, so, those are totally manageable! Why did I pick those? Let me explain.

Eggs -- Eggs are among the most nutrient-dense foods you can buy for your money. They are cheaper ounce-for-ounce than almost any other nutrient-dense food, even when you buy them at $3 - $4/dozen (which you should expect to pay for really good eggs). They're a fabulous source of good fats, and great for any women who are pregnant, breastfeeding, or might get pregnant. They're great for growing children. They're easy to cook. And at $4 a dozen, you only need to increase your grocery bill a small amount to be able to afford them, so it's a relatively affordable change, even for those on a strict budget. They're also easy to find in many regular grocery stores (I know Kroger, Giant Eagle, and other major chains carry them).

Organic Produce -- Pesticides aren't good for us. Most of us know that (some deny it!). So reducing our exposure to pesticides is obviously a good thing. Many people tend to eat a lot of, say, lettuce and apples too. Replacing a few of these items with organic versions is doable because you won't even notice the difference when you're eating it. Also, the prices on many of these items (like apples) are about the same whether you're buying conventional or organic (apples are around $1/lb here regardless). Organic produce is easy to find, reasonably priced in a lot of cases, and barely a noticeable switch. In fact, what most say they notice most is how much better the food tastes!

Food labels -- Sometimes, we don't want to know what's in stuff. Especially if we're sure it's not good for us but it tastes so good. I used to love eating the Frito-Lay jalapeno cheese dip, Reese's peanut butter cups, and Chef Boyardee Ravioli. Oh...it was great! But then I started reading the ingredients and over a period of months, I decided that it really was not worth it to buy and consume those "non-food" items. It was hard to let go...but I haven't had any of those things in over 6 months now. (Just so you don't think I don't get it!) Once you start reading, you'll feel like EVERYTHING is bad. But relax. Choose just one food item that you want to avoid. I suggest high fructose corn syrup because it's been linked to everything from being overweight, diabetes, to hyperactivity. Mercury has been found in it, too. You can replace a lot of common food items (like ketchup) with organic versions, so they won't contain HFCS. There is even soda and tomato sauce and the like that you can find without it, so you don't have to change your eating habits much, and store brands of these items (like at Whole Foods) can be about the same price as many national brands. Another good food item to choose to avoid would be MSG, which might be a little easier because it's not in as many foods and is equally bad. But right now, just pick ONE.

Those are the first three baby steps! Are they doable for you? If you're further along in your real food journey, do you agree with these? If not, what are YOUR first three baby steps?

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Courtship and Biblical Marriage

2010-02-12T20:00:00.003-05:00

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Now we've discussed several other issues surrounding Biblical relationships and families, so it's time to talk about courtship and marriage! I'm presenting these themes as they appear in the Biblical the teachings of Bible scholars. They represent an "ideal" situation, but are by no means the only way to approach relationships and marriage. They're also not my opinion (in most cases), but Biblical teachings, nor am I judging anyone who chooses a different way.

Courtship is a Biblical way of selecting a mate that heavily involves parents and which takes the place of dating. Traditional courtship happens when two people spend some time together within a group and/or with their parents as chaperones, and are never alone. They do not engage in any physical relationship (not even kissing) until they are married. Both young adults pray for God's guidance in selecting a mate, and discuss their ideas with their parents, who will either approve or deny the match. The man must then ask the woman's father's permission to propose to her. Only if the father gives it can the man propose to the woman. Then, once the couple is married, they leave their parents' homes and go to their own, where they begin their marriage together. Their first kiss is on their wedding day!

There are couples who, today, still strive for courtship. Not all families are so strict about it, though some are. Josh and Anna Duggar practiced courtship this strict, and I believe all the Duggar children are required to do so (although I don't know; I've only read Josh and Anna's story). Others are less strict but still believe strongly in courtship. That is, the goal of having the entire family involved in the selection of a mate and parents functioning as chaperones on at least early dates. It is also important that no courting take place until both the man and woman are fully grown and at a point in their lives where they are ready to have an adult relationship and a potential marriage. "Dating" happens as early as age 12 or 13 for some; there is no potential for an adult relationship or a marriage at that age. Courtship holds that early dating is pointless for that reason. Children should be children, and should not worry about relationships with the opposite sex until they are mature enough for marriage (this is not to say that they shouldn't have FRIENDSHIPS with the opposite sex!).

A typical (less strict) courtship may go like this (as my understanding; some of you may know better than I do): A man and a woman meet each other and become friends. Both are adults and feel they are ready to enter into marriage, if God leads them in that direction (and will be praying about this). They discuss their thoughts and ideas with their parents as well as praying that God will show them if the other person is the the "one." The man is prepared to marry -- that is, he has a good job and a home so that he can take care of his bride independently. The man asks the woman's father's permission to court her. If he gets permission, he will come to the woman's parents' house (of course...realistically, she may or may not still be living with her parents, but that's traditional) to pick her up and take her out. They may be chaperoned, or may not, but the date won't go late and there will be no sexual contact (some say hugging and holding hands is okay; some may say kissing is okay but this is less likely, especially at first). This may continue for awhile but the families will be paying attention. The couple will probably spend a lot of time in groups with friends, siblings, and their parents, so that the whole family knows the man/woman (both families know both). When the man is ready to propose, he will go privately to the woman's father and ask for her permission. Then, he will propose to the woman. Assuming she accepts, their "real" relationship begins and they plan the wedding (that is, they are viewed as betrothed and exclusive and it's considered a relationship, not just a courtship. Some couples may decide that some physical contact, like kissing, is acceptable at this point. Some may not. On their wedding day, they are married and they leave their fathers and mothers and go to one another, and are united as husband and wife (there are Bible verses about exactly this). At this point they are independent, married, and sexual contact is then permitted.

There is a Biblical basis for courtship. I am going to link to several sites in a "resources" section at the bottom so that you can read about it further if you're interested.

The reason that I believe a model similar to this is best is because a lot of teenagers waste a lot of time and energy on relationships that won't pan out. They spend time and money going on dates and having boyfriends and girlfriends and making plans for the future that completely change when and if they break up with that boyfriend or girlfriend. (Someone I know selected a college based on the fact that their significant other attended there, even though that college didn't have the intended major. So the entire career path and course of this person's life changed because of this relationship. They broke up a year later and now this person is thinking about revising the plan a bit, but I feel has lost a few years and the opportunity to do what was REALLY desired.) God doesn't want us to suffer like that. He also doesn't want our focus shifted from the task of growing up and discovering who we are as people, and becoming mature adults before we enter into relationships. So many teens are "one person" when they enter into a relationship at age 15, and totally different when they exit at age 17! Adolescents change SO fast, and they need to. For that reason, dating and marriage really should not enter their lives until they are mostly grown and ready for it.

Our goal for our children will be a modified courtship. We're not going to chaperone all their dates. We're not going to forbid them from ever kissing (though if any choose not to, we will certainly support that choice). We will want to meet the person they are seeing when they first want to have dates (and we will require them to be 18 before they can have true "dates" -- prior to that time, they will be able to go on group dates and have friendships with members of the opposite sex, but not relationships), and we will want men to come to us to ask permission before proposing to any of our daughters. And we hope that our sons will come and let us know they plan to propose, and then seek the woman's father's permission before doing so! We want to get to know all our future daughters-in-law and sons-in-law very well both before and after they are married.

Once courtship is complete and you are married, then what? God has a plan for marriage, too. I'll link to several articles on a Godly design for marriage below, too, but based on the studies we've done (premarital counseling, sets of CDs of pastors talking about marriage, a series in our church we heard live, some books we've read, the Bible itself of course), I will try to explain what we believe and try to practice.

The husband is the head of the family. He submits himself to God and Christ, and he is the family's spiritual leader. He is commanded to "agape" love his wife (which is a very special kind of love). This means, basically, that he is selfless and self-sacrificing for her, that he loves her as Christ loves him, and that nothing ever stops or changes his love for her. It is higher than brotherly love; it is like the love God offers us. There is no good translation for it. It is the husband's responsibility to love his wife this way to make her feel safe and cherished. He should also provide for his family, financially and in other ways.

The wife should submit to her husband. This is not like we think of "submission" in modern times, where a woman simply bows to her husband's will. Instead, she is charged with respecting him and his will (which of course needs to be aligned with God's will). When things come up in their marriage, they will discuss it because they are partners and they need to pray about major decisions together. But if the husband feels especially strongly, the wife should bow to his will and allow him to make the decision. By the same decision, if the wife feels especially strongly, if they feel she is right based on their prayers, the husband should love her and allow her to do things her way. Submission doesn't mean she lets her husband walk all over her by any means. A woman is called to ALWAYS respect her husband. She should not speak ill of him in public nor do anything to put him down or hurt his pride. A wife should feel safe with her husband and always loved by him, so that she is free to be herself, while still respecting him. In public (and in heaven), the husband speaks for the family.

I personally find my role very satisfying. I know that at home, I have an equal say (sometimes more than my share!) about how we will raise our children, handle our money, etc. Ben will come to me and say, "This is something that's in my head right now and this is what I think we should do. But I would like your input." We will discuss the issue, and often I agree he is right. If I don't, we discuss until we come to a conclusion we both agree with. So far we haven't had any times where he's had to say, "We can't agree, so we're going with what I say," but if it came to that, it would be my role to allow that to happen. I can trust Ben to be strong for me. So, for example, if there are demands on our family from the outside that I can't handle, Ben can stand up for us and say, "No, my family needs a break right now," and be a barrier between me and whatever is causing stress. I don't have to feel the burden of providing for my family because Ben takes care of it. Instead, of course, I raise our children, which is really MORE work most of the time. :)

I'm sharing my personal views on this because I know a lot of people will see the word "submit" and automatically get upset and say "No! A wife is completely equal to her husband in all ways and that is demeaning to women!" But it really isn't the way we think of submission. The typical view of a submissive wife -- that is, a husband who rules the family very strongly, and the wife who simply stays out of his way and says "Whatever you think is best" and generally seems to have no independent role or voice -- is NOT what the Bible was talking about. The husband needs the wife as much as she needs him. Their roles are just DIFFERENT.

I love one section from the Biblical marriage roles below that I am going to quote it here:

Let's put the husband's leadership and the wife's submission in biblical balance:

1. God has given the husband the leadership role for the good of his wife, not as an excuse for him to be proud or selfish, and not as an excuse to treat her as a servant.

Some husbands do not seem to understand that yelling for food or beverage service while they are watching a sports event on TV and while their wives are scrubbing the kitchen floors on their hands and knees does not reflect biblical truth in balance.

2. God has not said the husband must, or should, make all decisions in his family. If a husband wants to please God, and if he loves his wife with agape love, he will delegate some decision making to her--she has brains too.

3. God has not said that the husband must make decisions without obtaining input from his wife--she has brains, too.

4. God has not said that the husband must make decisions according to his wishes, nor even according to his wisdom. Instead he must make decisions that are best for his wife.

I think that really sums up how God views marriage, or at least the role of love and respect. It actually goes on with several more excellent points, but I'm not going to post the whole thing here. Read it, it really is a great resource!

We are always personally striving to do better in our roles as husband and wife. In our culture, it is easy to say, "I would love her more if she were nicer to me" or "I would respect him if he earned it," but that is not what God commands. Sometimes we need to remember that love and respect need to be truly UNCONDITIONAL, as God's love is for us.

Please click on the resources below to learn more. All the hyperlinks are articles!

Resources
Courtship vs. Dating
Agape love
Biblical types of love
Biblical marriage
Christian Marriage
Biblical marriage roles (discusses submission)
Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman
Intended for Pleasure, by Ed Wheat/Baker
Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs / Thomas Nelson

Do you subscribe to courtship and Biblical marriage? Why or why not? What do you believe about marriage?

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Taco Soup

2010-02-11T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Taco soup is yummy and easy! I make this for my weekly lunches sometimes because it is filling and has plenty of fat, vegetables, and meat!

Ingredients:
2 - 3 tbsp. olive oil
1 - 1.5 lbs. grass-fed ground beef (I use less if it's for a night's dinner, more if it's for a whole week of lunch)
1/2 lb. black beans, soaked
1/2 c. onion, chopped
1 large green pepper, chopped
1 jalapeno, minced (opt.)
4 - 6 tbsp. taco seasoning
1/2 lb. mixed vegetables
1 28-oz. can crushed tomatoes (or 3 c. tomato juice)
4 - 6 cups chicken stock

Directions:
Heat olive oil in a large soup pot. Add onion, beef, and pepper. Cook until veggies are soft and meat is brown. Add beans, taco seasoning, mixed vegetables, tomato juice/crushed tomatoes, and chicken broth. Let the soup cook for 1 - 2 hours, until the veggies are cooked through and flavors are melded. Serves 6 - 8.

Bloggy Business

2010-02-10T20:00:00.005-05:00

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I thought, since I've had so many "big" posts lately (you can check them out if you haven't), I would take today to do an easier post. One that doesn't invite quite so much controversy. :) I'll get back to those controversial subjects soon! Starting on Friday, actually, with more coming up next week. Bear with me, and please feel free to leave your (reasonable) disagreements on those posts!

First, if you haven't filled out my reader survey yet and you would be willing to, please do so! It helps know who you are (anonymously) and what you like to read on here. I'm considering making some changes so this would be really helpful!

One change -- Health News Tuesdays. Do you like it? Hate it? Wish it took a different format? Let me know what you think about that! What would you like to see it changed to?

Recipes on Thursdays -- love it, hate it? Wish there were more? Need more "real food" type posts?

Meal planning/grocery shopping -- I posted on this only once, but would more examples be helpful? A weekly meal plan that got sent to your email? What would be helpful to you?

Are there any other types of posts you would like to see? Other suggestions?

Comments -- I'm seriously considering switching to registered users only (OpenID will be an option). What does everyone think about that? (This is because all my usual and good commentors -- and that includes ones who disagree with me, lol! -- usually use their names, while some of the comments I haven't been able to post have all come from anonymous users. I'm hoping it will discourage that!)

Finally...announcement!! On March 1st, we will be launching a new site, a new blog host! It's not quite ready yet, but we're working hard. At that point, we'll have tons of new features for you! Mark it down, because that's just one exciting thing happening here in March! More to come next week....

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Health News Tuesday: Reducing Childhood Obesity, Female Hormones Grow in Trees

2010-02-09T20:00:00.002-05:00

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Health News Tuesday!

If you have any stories to submit, please post them to the comments section and I'll add them manually.

Drug-Resistant Bacteria Often Brought Home from Hospitals
MRSA is an increasing concern, and the bacteria is often brought from the hospital into the community.

Study Links Sugary Soft Drinks to Pancreatic Cancer
Even consuming one or two sweetened sodas per week raises your risk of this rare and deadly cancer.

Female Hormones Grow in Trees, say Scientists
Progesterone has been found in walnut trees.

3 Simple Steps Can Cut Childhood Obesity
A new study finds that, despite diet, having family dinners, getting enough sleep, and limiting TV time can cut a child's risk of obesity.

Moms Over 40 Nearly Twice as Likely to Have a Child with Autism
Another piece of the puzzle is discovered.

Nearly 17,000 Chemicals Remain Corporate Secrets
What is in these chemicals, which may be in your products? What do they do?

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Making Jerky

2010-02-08T20:00:00.004-05:00

Pseudo-Healthy Diets

2010-02-07T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Today, most people believe a healthy diet is what mainstream America (and many doctors) say that it is: lots of whole grains, fresh fruits and vegetables, low-fat dairy, lean meat, and generally low fat, low cholesterol choices.

However, this is NOT a healthy diet. At all. It's true that fruits and vegetables are very healthy and should absolutely be included in your diet -- in fact, up to 50% of your daily intake can come from fruit and vegetables (some say even more). But eating a lot of grains (even whole grains), a lot of sugar (which is what replaces fat in most products) and too little fat and cholesterol is extremely unhealthy!

I wrote a previous post about Why We Eat Fat, but now I'm going to break it down for you, discussing each area that mainstream America considers healthy and necessary for your diet, why it's NOT healthy, and what to replace it with. Get ready! All your knowledge about healthy diets is about to change....

First point. Every food is measured in major nutrients: protein, fat, and carbohydrates. Usually a food is high in one or two and low in another. We derive our energy either from carbs or from fat. We cannot survive on a diet that is low in both; we will get sick and weak. This is why the South Beach Diet is the worst possible diet you can adopt. The optimal fuel is fat. Most people, however, get a large amount of carbs, and mainly from sugar (juice, fruit, sweetened foods). This is why diabetes (type II) is so rampant in this country now.

A quick side note: Although we are not exercising formally at this point (just chasing children), we have continued to lose weight since my post in October. Ben's lost about another 5 lbs., and I've lost 7 - 8 lbs., putting my weight at the lowest it has ever been since I reached my full adult height (around 12o). This is eating a very high fat diet. I aim for 4 tbsp. of saturated fat per day whenever possible.

Now, for the list of foods that are "healthy" and why they're not.

Whole Grains -- Everyone wants you to believe that whole grain foods are good for you (and in some cases, they are). However, there are several problems with this. The first is that normal, whole grain foods are filled with phytates (which are anti-nutrients; they pull nutrients from you and/or prevent absorption). This is because the way grain is grown and processed has changed a lot over the last 50 or 60 years. Grain needs to be either sprouted or soaked to release its nutrients and enzymes to make it digestible and absorbable, but almost no one does this. Instead, manufacturers fortify the grain with various vitamins and minerals, but only synthetic ones (which really doesn't increase absorption at all). Much grain is also extruded to be processed into cereal, and a lot of it is mixed with high amounts of sugar (think cereal again, and breads, cakes, cookies...). Even worse, some grains (corn, and sometimes rice) are grown genetically modified, which are also bad for you. Grains should be organic, sprouted or soaked, and consumed minimally (no more than 25% of your daily food intake). This is hard because most snack foods, breakfast foods, and side dishes are filled with grains.

Low-fat dairy products -- There are LOTS of problems with this! First, there's the issue of actually being low-fat. Low fat is bad, since that's where you should be getting your energy. Then, there is the fact that making dairy low-fat requires it to be heavily processed. Water is added, nutrients are removed, fat is removed, and in some cases, skim milk powder is added to give the milk body. Skim milk powder contains oxidized cholesterol, which is NOT naturally occurring and is bad for you. The dairy products then have fake nutrients added back to it (fortification). These are NOT healthy. Instead, you should consume full-fat dairy products that are either raw or which have been pasteurized at the lowest legal temperature and are not homogenized. The milk should be from grass-fed cows. And you should eat plenty of butter, raw cheese, raw milk and cream, etc. It is extremely nutrient-dense.

Lean meat products -- Some meat is naturally lean and that is okay. But you shouldn't strive for only lean meats, or limit your meat consumption due to fat content. Beef (grass fed) is good for you! Most people say that red meat is bad, but that's only because factory farmed meat is bad. Factory meat has a low vitamin and mineral content, potential contamination, and often is full of hormones and antibiotics. However, naturally raised, grass-fed meat is not the same, and you should consume plenty of that. Natural sausages (containing fatback), lard, beef tallow, etc. are also very good for you. Saturated animal fats are also nutrient-dense. I personally can't wait to get my beef tallow to fry food in!

Cholesterol -- Cholesterol is actually absolutely key to brain development and function. Modern baby formula doesn't have any cholesterol in it, while breastmilk contains large amounts. This is a huge detriment (formula)! Cholesterol helps protect us from many problems and has never been proven to cause heart disease. Only natural sources of cholesterol are good, however; oxidized cholesterol (as in processed milk products) is not good. But don't worry about the cholesterol in butter or healthy meat. Your body needs it.

Unsaturated fats -- Experts recommend eating primarily or entirely unsaturated fats. However, they are not as healthy as they seem. Olive oil should not be used for cooking, because heating it can create trans fats. In fact, most liquid oils can go rancid easily when exposed to heat, light, and air (which they are on grocery store shelves). Also, corn and soybean oils ("vegetable oil") are often made from genetically modified plants. Finally, unfortunately, canola oil, which is engineered, is bad for you as well (click the link for more). Saturated fats, like butter, grass-fed beef tallow, organic lard, and coconut oil are the best fats to eat and cook with.

Artificial sugar -- In attempt to eat less sugar (and yes, sugar is bad), a lot of people have turned to artificial sugars, like Splenda (which is mostly made from chlorine) and aspartame. Both have been shown over and over again to be harmful. The body doesn't recognize them as food, and so they can create several long-term health problems. In fact, real sugar is better but should still be eaten in moderation. Evaporated cane juice, raw honey, and real maple syrup are all "good" sugars, but in general, our country eats far too much sugar. Limit your consumption to rare occasions. A spoonful of honey in your tea or an occasional (not daily!) dessert are okay.

Soy -- For quite awhile, soy has been considered the ultimate health food. However, soy is bad. It contains phytoestrogens, which have been claimed to cause cancer in women, and puberty issues in kids. The jury is still out on these claims, but soy is not a food you should turn to. It's also frequently genetically modified, which is not safe. If you do consume soy, it should be organic and fermented, and in moderation.

Yes, this is pretty weird stuff! But the new Baby Steps series will help you to make changes in your diet, if you're so inclined.

Also, starting on March 1st, I am launching a "30-Day Eat More Fat Challenge!" The details of this challenge will be announced on February 15th, so look for that post. Starting on March 1st (which is also the launch date of our NEW SITE!), I will post a daily tip or idea on eating fat. We'll have a weekly "check in" for those participating, and the winner will have a choice between a copy of my cookbook or a jar of my skin cream. Coming up soon!! Tell your friends!

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Baby Steps Series

2010-02-06T20:00:00.008-05:00

Sexual Purity

2010-02-05T20:00:00.005-05:00

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Sexual purity is a really difficult topic in today's world. A lot of people believe that sex before marriage is not wrong. Some even believe that you SHOULD have sex before marriage to see if you are "compatible!" Unfortunately, loose morals (i.e. sleeping with everyone who makes it to the "third date," one-night stands, etc.) have led to rampant STDs, out-of-wedlock pregnancies, and other negative consequences. Clearly, what the world considers 'right' is not necessarily good. There are also significant emotional consequences to premarital sex, which no one is discussing at all.

First, we'll turn to the Bible for what it says about sex before marriage.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins people commit are outside their bodies, but those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (TNIV, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20)

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; (TNIV, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (NIV, 1 Corinthians 7:8-9)

It is pretty clear, especially from the last quote, that God intended sex only for married people. Paul, in writing to the Corinthians, recommends that if they are consumed by desire for sex, they should get married rather than sin by having sex outside marriage.

This is not an impossible standard to reach. However, the boundaries must be absolutely clear. There is no waffling around, no "what-if" situations. People (including pastors) are afraid to say, "Sex is for married people. Not for engaged people. Not for people who are in love. Not for anyone who uses a condom. But only for married people." This is not 'to each his own.' This is, the Bible and God clearly state, "No sex before marriage."

It's not easy, of course. And it's not supposed to be. In a culture that wants instant gratification, it seems impossible to be truly in love with someone and have a strong desire for sex, and yet NOT do it. However, it is the right thing to do. It also better, truly, because when you get married and give yourselves to each other for the first time, it is an amazing experience. It's also true that plenty of people have slept with people they loved and "hoped" to marry, but ultimately didn't marry. It is easy to get hurt in a situation like this because sex is something that is not only physical, but extremely emotional. When married people have sex, they have already made a true physical, mental, and emotional commitment to one another and there is the trust required to have a sexual relationship. But when people are not married and not committed to each other, having a sexual relationship can make things weird. The absolute love, trust, and COMMITMENT are necessary to a sexual relationship.

All of this is why we will be teaching our children about purity. We will not be telling them "We hope you don't have sex before marriage, but if you do, at least get some birth control." This is wrong, and it also sends a very mixed message. Instead, we'll be very open with them about sexuality and God's plan for it. We'll let them know from a young age that God gave sex as a gift to married people, and that is is an extremely emotional and spiritual act, a special way for married people to connect. We'll also let them know that it's where babies come from (although opinions on this vary, I will have no problem telling Bekah if she asks next time I'm pregnant, despite that she is only 2. I don't believe you need long explanations but I don't believe you should hide it, either). We will be willing to discuss any of our children's concerns with them about being in relationships, being in love, how hard it is to wait, why we believe in waiting, and what the sexual relationship should be like within marriage.

It's hard to teach kids about purity when a lot of their friends are telling them something different, and certainly all of the media is telling them that sex is okay, great, and that they're missing out. It's important to discuss sex with your children and set the bar high. I'm not going to go into great detail about this issue, however, because I don't have kids old enough to have reached this point in their lives, so I'm not entirely sure how we will handle it. I know what we will discuss and teach, but I can't say specifically how they'll respond. I'd love parents who have had teenagers and chose to teach them about purity to weigh in on this.

It is truly worth it to wait. There are many good resources about sexuality for Christians, which I'll mention at the end.

What about once you are married? Then where does sex fit in?

As I stated above, God gave sex as a gift to married people. It is for procreation, obviously, but it is not ONLY for procreation. It is a special way for married people to connect and love one another. God WANTS married people to have sex!

Let's see what the Bible says about sex within marriage:

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (English Standard Version, 1 Corinthians 7:1-5)

It is clear that, first, God again says "sex should only occur within marriage." But read the last sentence of the quote carefully: "Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time..." God wishes married people to have sex on a regular basis, to stave off temptation. It is not good for married people to abstain from sex for a long period of time, because they can drift apart from one another and find themselves tempted by extra-marital affairs. And most of us are aware that MANY affairs begin when a married couple are too busy with children, work, or other outside interests to connect emotionally and sexually, so one or both partners look outside the relationship for gratification.

Since one of the purposes of getting married is to have sex (and children), then people should have sex when they are married, unless there is a temporary reason why they cannot. They should not refuse each other so that both feel satisfied. It is a pleasure and a gift for married people.

Within marriage, infidelity is never okay. Continued marital relations should help to avoid infidelity. Frequent sexual fantasies are considered infidelity too (about someone other than your own spouse, of course). Beyond what is forbidden in and outside of marriage, and that husbands and wives should enjoy regular sex, there is not much more that the Bible specifically says about sex. To that end, people should enjoy sex with their husband or wife and remain in constant communication about what they need and want.

Check out some of the resources I've listed below if you are wanting to learn more about this issue (what the Bible says about sex). Kay Arthur is a good resource.

How do you feel about sexual purity? What will you teach your children?

Resources:

Bible Verses on Premarital Sex

Bible Study on Sex

What Does the Bible Say about Sex by Kay Arthur

Sex According to God: How to Walk with Purity in a World of Temptation by Kay Arthur

The Truth About Sex: What the World Won't Tell You and God Wants you to Know by Kay Arthur

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Granola Bars

2010-02-04T20:00:00.005-05:00

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I found the original version of this recipe at Kitchen Stewardship's website, but have modified it to suit my family's tastes. So, here is our favorite version of granola bars!

Ingredients:
1 cup coconut oil
1/2 cup raw honey
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup gluten-free all purpose flour
1/2 cup brown rice flour
4 cups gluten-free oats

Directions:
Mix together coconut oil and honey. Add salt, vanilla, and flours and stir. Add oats 1 cup at a time, stir until completely mixed. Add any extras, like chocolate chips, seeds, nuts, etc. (I add about 1/2 cup chocolate chips.) Bake at 350 for about 25 min.

Pacifier Use

2010-02-03T20:00:00.002-05:00

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I know using pacifiers has been hotly debated. I've debated plenty with myself. But, with the recent experience we had, I felt I should weigh in.

On another blog I recently read, someone said "If you have only one kid and that kid slept well since birth, I don't want your advice [on how to get kids to sleep]." Well, I sure don't fall into that category, since I have two kids -- one who started (usually) sleeping through the night at 22 months and one who, at 5.5 months, still wakes up 6 - 8 times per night! Which, I recently realized, I actually trained him to do....

Enter the pacifier debate.

My first took a pacifier for only about 2 months. She took it while I was pumping and bottle feeding the first 6 weeks, but once I got her directly on the breast, she really didn't want much to do with it, so we just kind of took it away. This didn't stop her from having "trouble" sleeping (though what was 'trouble' to me then, how I'd wish for it now!! She woke usually once per night until 8 months, when allergies started to become an issue -- another story for another time -- but I was under the impression then that babies over 2 months old slept 8 straight hours...hahahahaha).

Now, Daniel...I didn't want to give him a pacifier. Really. But when he was only a couple days old, Ben got up and took him after his last "night" feed (7 am or so) and then let me sleep in and recover. When Daniel woke up and cried, Ben gave him a pacifier instead of bringing him to me to feed. This never caused nipple confusion or anything like that, so I let it go on. Then it became...we used the pacifier to help him fall asleep at night (because, after all, once he was *mostly* asleep he'd spit it out and sleep the rest of the night fine without it). Then we used it to keep him quiet for just a minute while Bekah was whining, dinner was burning, and I was trying to fold laundry all at once. Then in the car when we couldn't get to him right away. Then any time we wanted him to go to sleep or be quiet, assuming he was fed, changed, etc. It wasn't -- usually -- my automatic reaction to just stick a pacifier in his mouth, unless I was only a minute from finishing up a chore and he was ready to eat too soon.

But, despite my desire not to use a pacifier, we started to use it too much. And then, worse, we started to actually train him to wake up and require a pacifier to get back to sleep. I didn't realize this until today, exactly how it had happened, but now I see it. (We've already taken the pacifier away, the morning of Dec. 29.) I'm going to explain it so you understand my position on pacifier use.

At 3.5 months, Daniel started a huge growth spurt. He was fussy, and he woke every 1.5 - 2 hours wanting to eat. It was a rough week, but I got him and fed him every time. Once he settled -- precariously -- into a new nightly schedule (eating at 11, 2, 5, and sleeping with me starting at 6 until we got up), I occasionally gave him a pacifier to help him settle after eating if he was acting fussy. This continued for weeks. Months, now. Then, by 5 months, I was starting to get VERY impatient with the waking-every-hour act, so I started giving him his pacifier if it hadn't been at least 2 hours, sometimes 3, since his last feeding. I was also giving him a pacifier during the day if it hadn't been at least 2 hours since his last feeding (I never let him go more than 2 hours if he was fussy). Most of the time, this bought me an extra 30 - 40 minutes before he'd need to eat. This seemed like a good deal -- for awhile.

Then, in the last week (of December), Daniel has woken every 30 - 40 minutes almost all night. He always wants the pacifier and has an impossible time settling back to sleep without it. Sometimes I even try to feed him and he gets mad...because he isn't hungry, he only wants the pacifier. By giving it to him when he was hungry before, it taught him he could -- and should -- suck to fall asleep, and that he needed his pacifier. So every time his sleep lightened, or he was uncomfortable, he'd want his pacifier back. This meant sometimes I was looking at the clock at 12, 1, 2, 3...and wondering if I'd actually gotten any sleep or if I'd just imagined it. We even tried putting him in his own room, hoping that without our sleep noises, he'd sleep better. Nope -- same schedule. Each night he was back in my room, either in his bassinet or my bed by 2 or 3 am, when I got tired of running up and down the hall (average: 5 trips to his room before I brought him into mine).

It had to stop. I got so sleep deprived, it was ridiculous. But I realized I really did teach him to
wake at night. I used the pacifier as a soother, to make him sleep longer, so he began to associate it with falling asleep. I had used it during the day or night during growth spurts, when he really did need a little snack or "top off" just 30 minutes after his last meal. So, he wasn't getting quite enough to eat during the day sometimes (despite feeding mainly demand) and he was making up for it at night...then getting into the habit of needing the pacifier to settle back to sleep. Vicious cycle.

So we went cold turkey on the pacifier. No more. On the first day, we put him down for a nap with a crib toy he can turn on and off himself (i.e. he doesn't require my help at night to soothe) and he fell asleep! No fussing! (We've been reading the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, and are using ideas from it, plus doing some things of our own.) Later that day he got so tired before his next nap that Ben gave him the pacifier to help him settle (even cuddled in my arms, at my breast, he just screamed and thrashed). Oh well. After that, he fell asleep twice in the car without a pacifier. Then, our biggest success, after he'd nursed before bedtime, he fell asleep in my arms. Typically he'd continue to root at me or fuss and squirm until he was given a pacifier. This time he looked around; at the TV, then at me; then he tried to suck his fingers and the blanket, and eventually just relaxed himself and gently drifted off. This was REALLY great.

After that, well...he did spend about half the night sleeping with me. But it was really hot in my room and once I realized how much and made him cooler he slept better on his own. The next day I fed him more often, and gently rocked him for five minutes or so before laying him down (awake) for a nap. He simply sucked on his hands or arm (gave himself a hickey, lol) and played with his crib toy before falling quietly asleep.

I have hope that we will break this sucking-to-sleep problem and that within a couple of weeks, he'll be sleeping quietly in 4-hour stretches (and later, longer, but hey, 4 straight hours would be FABULOUS right now!) in his own room and he won't need settled in between. I think he'll also be able to go down for naps quietly and easily, just the way he did today. I also feel much more in tune with him and his needs now that I don't have a pacifier to use -- even as a last resort.

Side note on sleeping: It really IS possible to re-train your baby to sleep well without ANY crying. You don't have to "Ferberize" the baby or use any form of cry-it-out, modified or otherwise. I realized that by trying to be super-responsive to Daniel's needs, I had trained him to wake too often. I also realized that I could gently undo it without leaving him to cry. I was so torn for so long because I really WANTED to respond to his every need, but I also needed more sleep! This gentle, absolutely no-cry sleep solution (you can find much more in Pantley's book) really works and works with the baby's needs, not against them for the parents' convenience.

So, my opinion on pacifiers? If you can possibly avoid it, just don't use them. There will be kids that do just fine with them and sleep through the night and don't care if they drop them. There will be kids who scream and scream unless they're given one, especially kids suffering from colic (if that's your baby...investigate food allergies as a possible cause, otherwise, I am very sorry). And I know what all the research says..."it helps prevent SIDS"..."it causes kids to need braces"...etc. I don't need to summarize that for you here.

I think that using pacifiers, no matter how well you intend to use them (as I did), it's easy to fall into "just take this for one minute while I finish this..." or "I know you're tired, just take it and go to sleep" etc. If you must use them, take them away by 3 months or your baby will get used to it. I think you will find yourself a better and more responsive parent if you don't use the pacifier and have to find alternate, more hands-on ways to soothe your baby.

This is coming from hard-earned experience and many lost nights of sleep. There is no judgment here. Just what I have learned through having two different children and two different experiences.

Do you use pacifiers? Why or why not?

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Guest Post!

2010-02-03T08:00:00.002-05:00

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Today I have a guest post on Kitchen Stewardship's site about making over a recipe! Head over there to check it out! I'm very, very excited to be included in such a great blog!

While you're there, check out lots of the other recent posts about making over unhealthy, boxed recipes. Katie is doing that theme right now and she's already made over Hamburger Helper and Salad dressings!

Tonight's regularly scheduled post will still happen at 8!

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Health News Tuesday: Cancer's Secret Weakness, and Childrens' Declining Fitness Levels

2010-02-02T20:00:00.002-05:00

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Abstinence-only Education Effective
New abstinence-only sex education programs are more effective than other types.

Flame Retardant Chemical Causes Infertility
Yet another reason why you should avoid any product containing these harmful chemicals.

Childrens' Fitness Levels Continue to Decline
In a study of normal-weight 10-year-olds in 2008, they were weaker and slower than a similar group of 10-year-olds from 1998. Researchers now acknowledge that weight is not the only marker of health and that children are getting less and less healthy.

You are What You Absorb
That is, nutrients from food. Many people suffer from poor digestion and therefore are nutrient-deficient even if they are consuming adequate levels.

Use Probiotics to Lose Weight and Treat Illness
Many new benefits to probiotics and how to select the one for you.

Cancer's Secret Weakness
An interview with a leading nutritionist.

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The End of an Era

2010-02-01T20:00:00.003-05:00

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Today, the music school I've owned and run for over three years has closed its doors. It is the end of an era.

I thought I'd use this opportunity to tell you a little about what happened, and why, and where I'm planning to go from here.

I opened my music school in the fall of 2006, after Ben and I were married. I was so excited! I had said a year earlier I wanted to wait until I was in my 40s and my kids were not little before opening it, but I got too excited and started (much) sooner. I had experience working with children with autism and I also was mostly finished with my degree in music, so I decided to go ahead with it.

About April 2007, I started to get several students. Enough that when I found out I was pregnant in May, I hired another teacher to help me and to take my students when Bekah was born. I had 20 or so in January 2008. At that point I was completely into teaching -- holding recitals, special classes, summer camps, etc.

But after Bekah was born my perspective began to change. Suddenly I wanted to spend more time with her and doing other projects, and less time teaching. I did start teaching again when she was only 5 weeks old, but I was only a floor away from her (she didn't like it -- she screamed the whole time, even when Ben was holding her).

That summer I even hired a babysitter to come in and watch Bekah while I was teaching (the only time -- other than my childbirth education classes before Daniel was born, when I had one of my friends come watch her -- that I ever hired a babysitter). But I didn't like being away from her and it was increasingly becoming a struggle to keep my attention focused on the business. Despite that, we had our most successful Open House ever in August 2008.

After I found out I was pregnant with Daniel, things started to go downhill. By early 2009, I'd had some staff turn over, and there was more to come. I wasn't paying much attention to new student inquiries or following up with them as I should. Students were starting to leave but not being replaced. As Daniel's birth approached, all but one of my students quit (for varying reasons; they knew I was leaving, of course). In May 2009, I planned the spring Open House -- and NO ONE came. It was then I said, "Okay, God, you're clearly leading me in a new direction." But I held onto the business, increasingly apathetic, until recently.

At the beginning of this year, there were only about 5 students left, and only one mine. The aggravation of dealing with students and parents and staff wasn't worth it anymore. The loss of space (we have a designated music room) wasn't worth it. So we made the decision to close our doors as of February 1st. Today.

My music school is closed, but I'm ready to move on. I have so many projects happening now!

Many of you saw the breastfeeding survey a couple weeks ago (and some of you took it -- thanks!). I did that because I'm currently pursuing certification as a lactation specialist and a childbirth educator through CAPPA. These are jobs I can do from home (primarily), and around my children. Sometimes even WITH my children! I'm very excited about this. More details about the certification process and some of the life changes that are coming along with it are coming up soon.

What is going on in your life now? Have you ever had a dream that changed?

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Personal Financial Responsibility

2010-01-31T20:00:00.004-05:00

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**This post has been entered in Frugal Fridays at Life as Mom!**

After recently watching Maxed Out and listening to the different heart-wrenching stories, I got to thinking about all the similarities among the families facing serious debt. The same variables popped up in other documentaries I watched, too, like Sicko. I also noticed that these movies offer a thorough view of the problem, but either only a brief solution or none at all. This has made me passionate to share with you all the parts of what I call "personal financial responsibility."

It may not be easy to do all the things below, initially. But if you seek out Dave Ramsey or a similar plan and start making changes to your life in baby steps (and possibly read some of my previous blogs on money saving and budget making), you CAN do all of these. The steps below are what I consider a minimum to being financially responsible, so that no matter what crisis occurs, what disaster, what economy, you will be stable and secure.

1. Get health insurance
Examine what plans are available to you and select one that covers what you need. Be sure to look for any and all traps: a super-high deductible, long list of "not covered" items, difficulty getting to any specialists or alternative doctors, life time maximum benefits, etc. Ideally, an HSA is a good idea, with a reasonable deductible ($5000 or so), with extremely high life time maximum (over $1 million) or NO life time maximum, and good coverage (covered in all areas, while on vacation, choice of doctors and hospitals, low co-pays or no co-pays for routine care). Even if you are single you CANNOT afford not to have coverage. You could get sick or in an accident at any time and if you do, you need to know you are okay. Especially if you have a family, you need coverage. There is NO excuse for having tons of medical bills if you don't have insurance and could have.

2. Get life insurance
If you are single or childless this may not be a huge deal or necessity. But if you have children and/or are supporting your spouse, you must have it!! If you're single, it's still a good idea to have it to cover funeral costs, though you won't need as much coverage. $500,000 or more is a good idea so that all funeral costs are covered and a few years of living expenses. Remember that if you have children and someone dies (even if it's the stay-at-home parent), there will suddenly be daycare costs and other things you didn't have before, so you NEED it. We have $600,000 on Ben and $400,000 on me.

3. Save up at least $1000 in an emergency fund
This is how you avoid using credit cards for all those little things like your car suddenly needing repairs. You have an emergency fund and you have access to it whenever you really need it. The more you can save, the better, because we all know that sometimes, emergencies are expensive. REALLY expensive. If you don't have an emergency fund (and especially if you also have debt), you're asking for trouble.

4. Create a budget
Where is your money going? Get on a real budget and find out. Keep close track of your money so that you know where every dollar has gone. Most people are surprised to find how much they've really spent in some areas. With a budget, there are no surprises, and chances are you can find a little extra if you need to one month.

5. Reduce spending if necessary to live below your means and/or get another job
If looking at your budget shows that you're currently spending more than you earn (as most do in this country), work hard to reduce your spending so that you are spending LESS than you earn. If that is not possible, take a second job so you earn enough to cover your living expenses. You have to live within your means. If you don't, you're taking a huge gamble and could easily lose it all with just one unfortunate event.

6. Pay off debt: credit cards first, then car loans, then student loans, then mortgage
When your debt is paid off, your money is yours. You don't owe anyone, so if anything comes up, you have all the money you've earned to work with. Owing someone is not a position you want to be in, anyway. Look up what the Bible has to say about owing people money: it isn't pretty!

7. Save up for any future major purchases (cars, furniture, homes)
You will want to have nice stuff, of course. But you don't have to go in debt to do it. Save up money and put it in savings accounts, or CDs, or even other types of investments (depending on how long you have to save and how much the final purchase is). When you do buy the item, it's YOURS. Nothing can happen to it if you lose your job tomorrow. There's no worry over how you'll pay your debt if you don't have any. This is the responsible way to own nice things.

8. Invest for retirement and/or college
Don't expect the government to pay for your retirement (or college, of course). Save up the money and pay for it yourself. Invest your retirement money is high-yield, high-risk stocks if you are under 40; stick with a more conservative plan if you're older (and of course, seek out the advice of a qualified investment manager or stock broker or other expert, because I am not one). You can easily save up enough money to pay for college and get you through retirement easily.

Bonus:
9. Create a larger emergency fund (6 months of living expenses)
If you get laid off and have 6 months worth of living expenses saved up, you don't have to worry at all about finding another job (right away). You'll know that your family is taken care of and you don't even have to cut back at first. You will make that next mortgage payment (if you haven't paid it off), you will have food for your table and gas for your cars. You can put all your energy towards finding the perfect job, instead of worrying how you'll pay your bills.

10. Step up retirement investing
If you've got a large emergency fund, and all your debt paid, go ahead and put even more towards retirement. The worst that can happen is that you'll need it sooner than you've planned, but you don't have to completely deplete your savings to pay for whatever happened (i.e. medical emergency not covered by insurance -- but make sure you have insurance!!).

If you follow the steps above, you CAN live the American dream. Rely on God and yourself first and foremost; NOT your government or other people. Governments can have problems, economies can collapse, people can break promises. If you have insurance and savings and you are living below your means, you will always be safe, even as people around you who have debt and who are living outside their means suddenly feel hopeless when an unexpected financial crisis occurs.

This is just another in our series on personal responsibility.

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Car Seat Safety

2010-01-30T20:00:00.005-05:00

Following God's Plan

2010-01-29T08:00:00.004-05:00

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How we follow (or try to follow) God's plan in a world that doesn't understand.

Today I'm talking about God's plan. The first thing I should tell you is that while we TRY to follow God's plan as well as we can, we are by no means perfect! We slip up all the time and try to find our way again. We are not perfect at all.

What does it mean to follow God's plan? Obviously there are certain parts to God's plan that are easy to know (by reading the Bible), and certain parts that are not easy to know (through prayer and answers to prayer). Very quickly I want to talk about the "easy" parts, but mostly I want to focus on the not-so-easy parts.

If you spend any time in the Scripture, you know that God commands us to do several things. He commands us to love one another; not to kill; not to sin sexually (we'll discuss that further later); not to lie ("bear false witness"); and to worship Him. That is not a complete list, of course. Our ultimate goal is to love one another and to worship Him with every part of our lives. That means that although we are all sinners, we are to always strive to be closer to Him and to know more about Him. We need to try to do our best to be loving, giving, and as much like Jesus as we can. No one will ever measure up, but we are called to turn away from the world's ways (as "crazy" as some think that is) and towards Jesus's ways. This is not easy, but the Bible gives us guidelines on how to do it. To this end, I would encourage you to spend time in the Word to learn what it means to follow Jesus and as an encouragement to always do better. I, too, really need to spend more time in the Word. It is easy to be led astray by all of the demands of daily life, but God calls us to put Him first, not last.

I'm not saying this because I'm perfect. I often do the same as many others: know that I need to spend more time with God and not do it because I'm working on so many other projects. I do consider God all the time and think about how I can be more purposeful in areas of my life based on what He commands. But by no means do I spend nearly enough time in His Word or with Him in any way. :( That is sad to admit. I am hoping to get myself seriously together soon so that I will do more with it. I may issue a challenge to us all about this! Be prepared for that. :)

If you are spending time in the Word, or spending time praying and considering God's desires for your life, then you know the other side of following God's plan. God has a plan for each of us, and we don't necessarily know what it is. We can try to learn it through prayer and through always listening for God's answers. Sometimes it's very obvious, and other times it's not.

The other week, I desperately wanted to go out with friends. My kids were not feeling well and we'd had a long night and I was feeling frustrated. I knew that going out wasn't a good idea, yet I really, really wanted to do it anyway. So I pushed them to get ready, I did whatever it took. In the back of my head was the thought that maybe God didn't want me to go, because I really needed to put my kids first, not my own frustrations and desires. When everything was ready, I went to get the kids in the car -- and my garage door wouldn't open. I tried EVERYTHING, including unlocking it and opening manually. But no dice. I was forced to stay home. That afternoon, Ben came home and easily opened the garage. It was like God was saying, "If you're not going to do what's right for your kids, I'm going to make you do it." Sometimes it's really that obvious!

And, like that example, sometimes it's not what we want or what's comfortable for us. We may be given a job in another state at a time we don't want to move. We may be prevented from having a child when we desperately want one -- or given one when we're not ready. But all of these things happen because God wants them to.

Treat every event in your life -- good and bad -- as a blessing from God. A lot of times the bad is really a blessing in disguise. Or, sometimes it's an attempt by Satan to make you angry so that you will denounce God instead of praising Him. Continue to praise Him, and continue to pray to him, and try to listen to what He is telling you. He will let you know His plan in parts, and He will lead you in new directions.

Once, when my mother was a little girl, she and her sister wanted to go to a friend's to sleep over. There was no reason why they couldn't, but her mother felt uneasy and told them no. This was God telling her to keep her children with her. That night, there was a fire in her friend's home, and her friend died in that fire. My mother and her sister could easily have died too, had they gone to that sleepover that night.

Another time, a pastor we knew was a teenager and spent time in prayer. He felt God was tugging on him to spend his "extra" money to give to the church, rather than saving for prom like all of his friends. It was hard for him, but he gave his money to the church. On prom day, a close female friend of his called and said, "I just broke up with my boyfriend, and I need you to take me. The tickets are paid for, the tux is rented and it's just your size, dinner is paid for, and we have tickets to an amusement park for after prom. All you have to do is show up." In this case, he was rewarded for following God's plan for him!

God does reward us for following His plan in many amazing ways. He blesses us in ways that make absolutely no sense by the world's standards. And for that reason, I encourage you to always prayerfully consider any decision you make, and to include God in your life all the time. He will guide you if you let Him, and He will bless you if you let Him.

At every time in your life, you will be working on something different. It all depends on what God is calling you to do at that time. God will lay something on your heart that you need to work on. Right now, God is laying it on my heart to work on grace -- understanding it and extending it to others. I don't know where God will take me next. More details about what I'm working on personally will be coming up in future blog posts.

What is God working on in your life? How do you follow His plan?

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Beef with Tomato and Zucchini

2010-01-28T20:00:00.003-05:00

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When I was faced with the necessity of cutting grains out of my diet recently, I had to become more creative in what I cooked. This recipe was born of necessity. If you're not grain-free, you could serve it with some pasta as a sauce. If you are, it's great just by itself. :)

Ingredients:
1 lb. grass-fed ground beef
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 c. chopped tomatoes or strained tomatoes
1 zucchini, chopped
1/2 tsp. basil
1 tsp. sea salt

Directions:
Heat olive oil in a large pan. Add garlic, zucchini and beef. Cook until beef is browned. Add tomatoes and spices. Cook until zucchini is soft and flavors are mixed, 10 - 15 min. Serve by itself or over pasta.

*I personally like it better with chopped tomatoes, and even if I use strained tomatoes (I haven't found chopped tomatoes in glass jars yet and the flavor of the raw tomatoes isn't quite the same) I will usually add some fresh tomatoes too. I think, though, if you were using it as a sauce, you would prefer strained tomatoes. It is VERY thick and meaty but that is the point; it can be a meal in itself! Would go great with a nice salad too.

Chore Chart Organization

2010-01-27T20:00:00.007-05:00

Health News Tuesday: Slow Aging, Chemicals in Your Home, and more

2010-01-26T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Health News Tuesday!

Believe it or not, this is my THIRD attempt to write this blog post. Firefox keeps crashing and even though it's supposed to autosave, it hasn't. :( I'm rather unhappy about this.

Moving on. If you have a link to share, add it in the comments section and I will add it manually to the main post later.

Fish Oil Slows Aging
New research shows that fish oil helps to slow the aging process.

Whole Foods Launches Health Initiative
Whole Foods Markets are launching new programs to promote health, including classes for the public and extra discounts for employees with certain health measures (lower BMI, non-smoking, etc.).

Over 300 Pollutants in Drinking Water
Do you know what's in your water? The answer may surprise you.

CDC: 1 in 5 Teens Has Bad Cholesterol
According to the CDC, 1 in 5 teens has bad cholesterol. They are recommending testing as early as age 2 and statins as early as age 8, which is absolutely criminal. Cholesterol is only mildly related to heart disease in the first place, and dietary cholesterol (naturally occurring, non-oxidized) typically doesn't cause high cholesterol anyway.

Medical Students Believe in Alternative Therapies
A new study says that most medical students (over 70%) believe that alternative medicine should be integrated in Western medicine, and that they would like more training in alternative medicine.

Fight Back Against GMOs in Our Food Supply
An opinion piece of the detrimental affect of GMOs in our food. Monsanto and conventional farming are ruining our earth and poisoning us!

Bacteria in Gut Shown to Reduce Obesity
As people age, their gut bacteria shifts, and this has been associated with increased weight. Gut bacteria may do more than just keep us healthy -- it may help us maintain proper body weight.

This Common Food Ingredient Can Really Mess up your Metabolism
Sugar!! Read all the ways it's harmful. Then, go over to Naturally Knocked Up and read about doing a no-sugar challenge (Donielle is almost 2 weeks into it, I believe).

Household Chemicals Linked to Reduced Fertility
Be careful about what's in your home: it could lead to infertility issues. Flame-retardant chemicals are blamed for this problem. You should avoid them at ALL costs. What is really more dangerous, breathing in these chemicals daily over a long period of time, or the very, very tiny chance that you could have a house fire and somehow be trapped in or under something flammable? Buy only organic mattresses and children's clothing if at all possible to avoid these chemicals!

Low Carb Diets Better for Blood Pressure
Grains ARE bad for you! Low-carb diets help to keep your blood pressure lower, and have proven better than weight loss drugs. More on this coming up, but you can also read more about this at Naturally Knocked Up, Keeper of the Home, and other blogs.

Carnival Blog Links
1. You're first!

Happy Birthday Bekah!

2010-01-25T20:00:00.003-05:00

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Happy Birthday to my sweet girl! Rebekah Christine is 2! (1/26/08)

This past weekend, we had a quiet little birthday party with grandparents. She got several very cute presents, including a new puzzle, a book, a little car that goes if pushed (continues moving by friction), and a purse filled with lots of cool stuff like jewelry (she LOVES jewelry!). She also got some super dark chocolate (72% pure cacao) and I think that was her favorite! We only let her have one piece since she's not really supposed to have sugar. Although it doesn't have much.

On her birthday afternoon, I will be taking her shopping, just the two of us, and she'll get to pick out a new outfit. She loves clothes too!

Hard to believe it's been 2 years already!

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Reader Survey

2010-01-25T13:37:00.004-05:00

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Hello, dear readers!

Recently, several other bloggers that I follow did a reader survey, where they asked several questions of their readers to see who was reading and to get a better idea of how they could serve their reader base. I thought, you know, I should probably do the same. Traffic is increasing QUICKLY here. Visits are up 32% over December, and pageviews are up 26%. And we have another week yet in January! December's hits were up 60% over November and we're about on track to do that again.

So, with all those new people coming, I'd love to know more about you! Fill out my reader survey at your leisure. Pretty please? I'll post the results in a couple weeks, so that you can all know who is reading along with you! Thanks!

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Cloth Around the House

2010-01-24T20:00:00.006-05:00

Muscle Testing and Yeast-Free Diets

2010-01-23T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Recently, we have undergone some muscle testing to check for our allergies. Ben, Bekah and I were all tested. First I want to explain what muscle testing is and who performs it.

There are different types of doctors who do muscle testing -- Eastern medicine practitioners. So acupuncturists, NAET (Nambudripid Allergy Elimination Technique), sometimes massage therapists. This is because the theory behind muscle testing has to do with the electromagnetic fields that surround everyone and everything. Each person and item has their own electromagnetic field. Some work together well; others clash. The idea is that if you are allergic to a food or experiencing discomfort from a substance, placing it into your electromagnetic field will produce a reaction. The reason this works is because under normal circumstances (if you are healthy), your body sends blood to all of your extremities and throughout the entire body. But if you are not healthy, when your arm is extended, the brain diverts the blood to vital organs, namely the one that is having a problem, and away from the muscles in the arm. The muscle then becomes weak. It is also important to know that if the body is weak and you introduce the substance that is making the body weak to the body's electromagnetic field, it makes the body strong again. This is because, like in math, two negatives make a positive.

The testing procedure is basically where a person either stands or lies down and extends their arm. The doctor pushes on the arm while the person meets the doctors' resistance. If the person is weak, then the arm will be easily pushed over. If the arm is strong, the muscle will lock and remain extended. The doctor will place a bunch of different substances into the body's field to see what is causing the problem. He will also check various acupuncture points of energy, including various vital organs, and may have you hold your hands in a particular way. I don't understand exactly why all this works, but it has been used in Chinese medicine for thousands of years. It's also important to note that this type of testing and subsequent treatment have a very high accuracy and success rate -- 80 - 95%. Many people have been cleared of yeast, allergies, heavy metal toxicity, etc. by this method.

We recently underwent this testing and discovered the following things:

Me -- Allergic to brown rice and soy; systemic yeast; heavy metal toxicity (aluminum and mercury).

Ben -- Allergic to all grains, including rice; soy; all dairy, including raw; brown sugar; improperly healed scar.

Bekah -- Allergic to all dairy, all grains, brown sugar, white sugar, fruit sugar; yeast issues.

It was kind of cool because while Ben was getting tested the Dr. became momentarily unsure what to do. He hesitated then said, "Where's the scar?" Ben said, "What?" The Dr. repeated, "The scar. You have a scar somewhere. Where is it?" Ben remembered and said, "Well, I have one on my knee from when I got cut with glass when I was a kid...." The doctor located it and said "That's it! That's what was blocking this." Ben is now being treated for this scar, to help it heal properly. At the time of the testing, he had no health history on Ben at all, had not asked any questions (Ben has the paperwork at home to fill out before our next visit). Yet his testing let him know that there was a scar somewhere on Ben's body that was causing problems, and he was correct. How's that for accuracy?

As a result of this muscle testing, we were put on several supplements. Bekah is only taking 2, and very tiny amounts of them. Ben and I are taking several more (4 for me and I think 6 for him). We were also put on a completely sugar-free (including natural sugars, honey, and even fruit in large quantities) and also grain-free. Our only source of carbs is a limited amount of potatoes and other root vegetables. This is because of the allergies, but also because yeast feeds on sugars (carbs breakdown to sugars) and one way to kill it is to get rid of the sugar so it can't feed. So far it's been no problem for her and not much for Ben (he feels a little weak and tired, but basically okay). But for me...I've been so nauseous and weak. This is what happens when the yeast dies off. The yeast releases toxins when it dies and can overload your system. This lasts anywhere from a day to a few weeks, depending on how bad the problem is. It's very, very hard to get through. I can't decide yet if it's worth it, but I'm assuming it will be.

I would recommend with anyone with health issues go see an alternative practitioner to see if they can help you. Please seek out a trained, certified professional. I will continue to share our experience for your information.

Here are some things we've learned:

*If you have yeast issues, ease into the new diet slowly. Otherwise the detox symptoms could be overwhelming. This isn't a good thing, because it means the body is detoxing too fast and there is an overload.

*Have fruit as your "sweet" instead of grains or processed sugar. Raw honey may be a good option too. But, limit it.

*Include a LOT of healthy fat in your diet for energy, especially saturated fat. Coconut oil is great, and butter if you can handle it. Beef tallow, lard, and meat are good options too.

*Eat what sounds good to you that is okay for your new diet (I frequently crave tomatoes, green peppers, orange juice, and cilantro, all of which are okay).

*Make sure to ask your doctor about what you should eat for your specific case.

Resources:
Muscle Testing
Muscle Testing and EFT
NAET
Standard Process (whole food supplements; we are taking these)

Have you ever seen an alternative practitioner or gone on a yeast-free diet? What was your experience?

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Large Families

2010-01-22T20:00:00.003-05:00

Several weeks ago I was asked for my opinion on large families, since you all know I intend to have one. The recent premature birth of the Duggars' 19th child brought up the questions again. So, I'm finally getting around to answering it! It's been too busy on the blog until now. :)

And please, if you're going to comment on this post, read the WHOLE thing and give it some time to sink in first. I've thought about this subject for a very, very long time. And those of you who are against large families and/or older children taking responsibility for younger children, please know my mother agrees with you and shared this sentiment with me over and over growing up, and I found it unfair at times that a few of my friends with younger siblings were often babysitting. So it has taken me a long, long time to come to the perspective I currently have, after experiencing many different situations and ways of thinking.

I believe that large families are a blessing. They are not for everyone, obviously, but God intends some to have large families. Some have said "but it's not fair to the children." Here is something to think about: everyone has an opinion about their siblings and the families they were raised in. Some wish they had more siblings. Some wish they had less. Some loved it just the way it was. Some didn't like a particular sibling. Some felt closest to a particular sibling, maybe even more than their parents. But you don't choose to have another child because one of your children does (or doesn't) want another. If you weren't planning more and your children BEGGED for a sibling, would you have another? Probably not. It's your body and your adult life, and you wouldn't want to go through the pregnancy and have another child to raise if you didn't feel ready, even if your children wanted another sibling. Likewise, it's not their decision to say you shouldn't have more children. This is YOUR life (most of your life happens as an adult and it's your time to choose how you want to live it!), not theirs. When they are adults, they can choose their own experience. Love it or hate it, they've had the childhood they're going to have. Not to mention that even if you only have two children (or even just one!), you can't always please everyone with everything. So it is most important to please God, and then yourself, NOT your children.

Within a family, I believe that everyone has a special and unique relationship with everyone else. It's not merely about the parents' relationship with each child, but the childrens' relationship with each other. Siblings can, and do, share very special and meaningful relationships with one another. I know that already in our family, the first thing Bekah says when she wakes up in the morning or from nap is "Brother?" She doesn't stop asking until she gets to see him. He smiles at her more readily than anyone else, even when she's just poking at him or getting in his face. They seem to have a special bond. I don't have anything to do with that. If she hears him crying, she goes over and pats him or gives him a pacifier or a toy. She offers him her food or her drink (although he's not allowed to have it). She LOVES him. I hope that they always have a special relationship with each other. I believe this type of relationship between siblings should be fostered because it is the first model for friendship.

Children don't know how to have healthy relationships outside their families if they don't have healthy relationships within them. Having their siblings around helps them to learn to get along with others, and negotiate the sometimes difficult areas like sharing, listening, turn-taking, etc. While these skills can be learned in other ways, they are built in to large families.

ALL members of a family have a responsibility towards all other members. It's not unreasonable to expect a child to take care of things for himself -- putting his clothes in the hamper, making his bed, clearing his dishes from the table. It's also not unreasonable to expect him to help a family member. Perhaps removing a younger child's shoes, reading a story to someone, getting someone a glass of water while he's getting himself one. When our children are little, we are training them. Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." If you wish your child to think of others first, you will need to teach him to do so when he is young. When your child is a young adult and is staying with you, would you be hurt if he went into the kitchen and got himself a snack and didn't offer you any? Or didn't thank you after you made him dinner? He needs to be taught this attitude of helpfulness and gratitude when he is young.

It isn't really a burden for a child to have to spend a short amount of time helping a younger sibling each day. A half hour or an hour of being a child's "buddy" is not a huge chunk out of the older sibling's day (not saying I would choose this system, just saying it isn't as horrible as some have made it out to be). It can also help to foster that special relationship between those two siblings. They may truly enjoy studying together, or practicing their musical instruments together. And I certainly hope that siblings (generally) enjoy playing together! Even if, on occasion, they don't, it is still part of being a family to help one another. It is the responsibility of EVERYONE to help everyone else when they need it.

I believe that today, we are fostering too much independence in our children. We teach them that they must have space, and privacy, and always the freedom to do their own thing. We teach them that as children, they should have their own activities. We push them outside the family as soon as they are old enough and tell them to go make friends, don't worry about helping at home. Some families don't even give kids chores for this reason (yes...I have read a book where a parent firmly stated her policy was not to give her kid any chores at all...or even to teach her manners. As this parent only had one child, I don't really believe her. Perhaps it worked out okay for her ONE child, but every child is different and many would do poorly with that system!). We really push kids to be independent VERY early, from putting their in their own rooms from birth, weaning them betwen 6 and 12 months (if not sooner), disciplining them early but so gently they don't actually get it ("You better come back here! I'm going to count to 10! If you don't come, I'm going to come and get you!" Um...that teaches the child...what, exactly?). Why do we push our children to be so independent? Why is that necessary? And what happens when they grow up?

I envision a family where everyone focuses on each other as their primary relationships. They have friends, of course, but if their family needs them (whether it is to help a sibling, do their chores, or have a fun family outing), they say, "I'll have to catch you next time." I envision a family where they help their siblings because they WANT to, not because they have to. I envision a family that is so close and loving that when all the children are grown, if one says, "I need help," everyone else says, "Tell me what you need and I'll do it." That is the kind of love and help that I see from my family.

When I think of large families, I'm not thinking of just what's happening today. I'm not thinking of my individuals who are independent and will grow up to remain that way. No, they'll grow up to form their own families (whatever size). They will never be really independent. I think it does them a great disservice to teach them to expect space and privacy when they will probably never really have it. They need to learn to live with others instead. Yes, this culture loves to emphasize individualism, but I don't like it or believe in it. I think we need each other. I think we need to be in community with others, part of a family, at all times. We need to give when we can, and learn to receive when we need it. People don't do well at either these days.

As for the Duggars, I can't speak for them. I don't agree with everything they believe or have chosen to do. I don't think in any way that we will be a copy of them or even very similar to them. Being Christians and wanting a lot of children are all we have in common (and debt free, hopefully!). I don't make all my children dress alike and the girls wear their hair long and only wear dresses. I won't make all my kids play the piano and the violin (they can choose any instrument, or sport, etc.). I don't serve them processed food. I won't give them dormitory-style bedrooms (because everyone needs a space where they can have a few minutes to themselves, even if they're sharing with one other sibling). But in general, comparing us to the Duggars isn't really fair. They're just another family out there and there are things I agree with and things I don't.

So that's my general take on the subject. Families are all about each other, they are inherently interlocked, and they all have a responsibility towards one another. Independence is pushed far too much. It's every adult's decision how many children to have and what kind of life they want to lead and how they want to teach their children (and for those children, they'll have their chance too, for most of their life). And ultimately...what is MOST important in a family? That the family is LOVING!! Size doesn't matter, responsibilities (or lack thereof), etc. It's that the parents are loving and giving and they teach the children to be that way too. That is what the children will remember when they are adults, not the minor annoyances.

Right now, I know I'm not the perfect parent (who is?). I know I yell sometimes when Bekah has ignored me for the 14th time in the last half hour. I know we have really bad days. But when she picks up a doll, or sees a real baby, she holds it, kisses it, strokes its hair, offers it a toy...she's gentle and loving towards it. So I know that those moments are what really stick in her head. I have NEVER seen her yell at a doll or try to hurt it or do anything but treat it lovingly. So despite my totally imperfect parenting, something must be going right, huh?

What do you think about large families?

Gluten-Free Apple Cinnamon Muffins

2010-01-21T20:00:00.003-05:00

Health Benefits of Herbal Tea

2010-01-20T20:00:00.005-05:00

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***
Before tonight's regularly scheduled post, I wanted to note that there is an awesome giveaway at Kitchen Stewardship! It is for a Charlie's Soap package, including the powdered laundry detergent and all purpose cleaner! Hop over there to check it out and get a chance to win!
***

**This post has been entered in Things I Love Thursdays at Diaper Diaries and Finer Things Fridays at Amy's Finer Things!!**

Herbal tea!

It's one of the few "treats" we can have at this point in time. As a quick personal update, we've recently undergone allergy testing and have been told to cut out all grains, all sugar (including fruit sugar), legumes, nuts, dairy. We're left with some vegetables, meat, eggs, and coconut. When I need something "sweet," tea is about all I have left! But that's okay, as long as we are getting better.

There are many different types of herbal teas, and each has its own individual benefits. Let's just sum up a few things about herbal tea so we all know what we're talking about:

*Herbal tea is naturally caffeine-free (so yes, you can give it to your children...Bekah loves it!)
*Herbal tea does not contain any green or black tea
*Herbal tea may contain fruits, flowers, herbs (obviously) or any other "healing" plant parts

Common varieties include:
*Lemon
*Chamomile
*Rooibos
*Mint
*Ginger
*Echinacea
*Elderberry
*Juniper

Of course, there are a myriad of blends using all of the above ingredients and more. I couldn't possibly list them all. The health benefits of the tea depend on what ingredients are in them. I'll list benefits of just a few common teas/ingredients:

*Chamomile -- calming, relaxing (often used for "sleepy" or bedtime teas)
*Rooibos -- aids digestion, can help allergies
*Mint -- helps nausea
*Ginger -- helps nausea, fights colds
*Elderberry -- fights colds and flu

Rooibos tea is probably one that you haven't heard of before. It's something we discovered a few months back. We were at the mall one morning with a friend, when a salesperson came out of Teavana and offered us a sample and a brochure. I'd always seen the store and occasionally sampled the tea but never paid much attention to it. I tried some tea and took a brochure home. It was there I first learned about the rooibos tea and its benefits. I started researching it further, and learned how great it was and how it could possibly help us! And since Bekah loves tea I thought I'd give it a try. I returned to the mall the next night (note to self: do NOT go to the mall with a double stroller on a Friday night, when all the teenagers are shopping) and purchased some Rooibos peach bloom. I LOVE peach tea and this is pretty good stuff. :) Bekah likes it too!

I begged my mom for a gift card for Christmas and have since ordered MANY more varieties. My favorite combination is Caribbean breeze (which contains elderberry) and Kiwi-strawberry. Love it! It's sweet enough to drink without any sugar, hence it helps get rid of my "sweet" cravings now.

Enough about that. You can read more about rooibos, chamomile, and ginger tea.

What are your favorite types of tea? Do you drink them for the health benefits?

Health News Tuesday: Parents Confused by Nutitional Labeling, Tylenol Recalls

2010-01-19T20:00:00.003-05:00

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Health News Tuesday!

Until I figure out how to make Mr. Linky work right, please leave your links in the comment section and I'll add them manually!

Most Parents Confused by Nutritional Labeling
Make sure you're not one of them! Read labels carefully. Please note a few facts, too: the RDA of each vitamin is the minimum amount you require per day to stave off serious deficiency, NOT the maximum amount you need, nor the amount for optimum health. Even so, a product only needs to have 10% of the RDA to claim "Good source of X!" on the label. There is also concern over what is "natural" -- some consider high fructose corn syrup natural because it came from corn (even though it has been highly processed since then). Bottom line: don't believe flashy claims on the front of the box, and if it has ingredients you don't recognize and can't pronounce, don't buy it.

Take a Look at the Chemicals in Processed Food
More reasons why you shouldn't buy it!

12 Predictions that came True
Dr. Mercola's predictions that have, scarily enough, come true!

Health Ranger's 2009 Predictions
These were 79% true! Read to find out what they were.

Tylenol Recall: Contamination
Tylenol has been found to be contaminated with mold and other things. J&J refused to test its product despite heightened consumer complaints.

H1N1 Vaccine Useless
More information about this vaccine.

Toxic Fertilizer Being Recommended for Crops
Be careful about eating conventional produce if this really gets used....

Why Wheat is Dangerous
You may be surprised.

Add your own articles below!

Carnival Entries:
1. You're first!

Breastfeeding Survey

2010-01-19T18:04:00.003-05:00

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I'm working on a project right now, and as part of that, I really would like to understand attitudes towards breastfeeding better. If anyone has a chance to fill out the survey below, it would be much appreciated! You can add it to the comments section (anonymously if you want), or you can email it to Ktietje85 @ gmail.com (no spaces). Thanks!!

Classification Questions
Age (at the time baby was born):
Marital status (at baby’s birth):
Baby’s gestational age (in weeks; if you don’t remember “full term” is fine if past 37 weeks):
Baby’s medical issues (if any):

Prenatal Breastfeeding Attitudes
Did you intend to breastfeed before your baby was born? Why or why not?
What was the most significant influence on your attitudes towards breastfeeding?
What was your breastfeeding goal (i.e. 6 weeks, 6 months, 12 months, etc.)?
What was your attitude towards formula and bottles?
What were your beliefs about breastfeeding before your baby came (ie. “it would be easy,” “it would hurt,” etc.)?
Did you take a breastfeeding class or seek out any form of preparation?
Did you purchase any baby feeding equipment before your baby’s birth (bottles, formula, breast pump, etc.), and if so, what?

Birth Experience
Was your baby born without complications? If no, what happened?
Were you allowed to hold your baby immediately? If no, why not and how long until you did?
Were you encouraged to initiate breastfeeding within one hour of birth? If not, when were you encouraged to breastfeed?
What was the attitude of the staff towards breastfeeding?
Did you room in with your baby?
Was your baby given any supplemental formula or water in the nursery during your hospital stay?
Did any staff member assist you with breastfeeding? Who? What did they do? Was it helpful?
When you left the hospital, were you still breastfeeding? If so, how was it going?

Early Days
How did breastfeeding go once you were at home?
What struggles (if any) did you face?
What support did you have at home? What were the attitudes of those around you?
What did your child’s pediatrician recommend for feeding your baby?
What was his/her attitude towards breastfeeding?
Did you use any supplemental bottles during this time (with any liquid)? How many per day, and what was in them?
Did you seek any support for breastfeeding difficulties once at home? Who/where did you look for help?
If you sought support, what was your experience?

Continuing Breastfeeding
Did you make your original breastfeeding goal? Why or why not?
What was the biggest motivator for you to breastfeed?
What was the biggest obstacle to breastfeeding?
What do you wish you had known or done before your baby’s birth that would have made breastfeeding easier?
What is the most helpful thing someone could have done after your baby’s birth to help you?
At what age did you wean your baby (onto formula, food, etc.)?
At what age did you start solids (even if you were still breastfeeding)?
What was the ultimate reason you weaned?
How did you feel about weaning?
Other thoughts on breastfeeding and breastfeeding support (tell me what your ideal situation would have been, how a lactation specialist could help, etc. – anything you can think of)?

Thanks so much for helping me!

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Myths About Credit Cards

2010-01-18T20:00:00.008-05:00

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**This post has been entered in Frugal Fridays at Life as Mom!**

I know some of you have seen all our previous posts on getting out of debt and alternatives to credit and everything else, but are really holding out. "Credit is good!" you say. "I need to have my credit rating! And credit cards don't hurt if I pay them off monthly, plus I get cool rewards!" For all of you, it is time to explore some credit card myths (and by the way, I wrote this intro before I actually posted the other entries. I just knew that somebody would say those things, lol).

Myth #1: The credit card companies wouldn't send me applications in the mail if I couldn't afford it.

Truth: Wrong. The credit card companies are simply making you an offer based on mailing lists or research they have performed. It is your responsibility to determine whether you can afford to accept their offer. From iVillage. Please remember this! It is very important. The credit companies are not your friends. They don't believe in you. They are only trying to make money off you and their formulas have told them that you are likely to use credit and that they will make money. You do not need to accept an offer of credit just because you've been given one.

Myth #2: Everything is okay because I pay the minimum payment due each month.
Truth: By just paying the minimum payment on a debt, you extend your payments for many years. If possible, send more than the minimum payment. If that isn't possible, you are probably living close to the financial edge. What would happen if you were injured or sick or could not work? Simply being able to live from paycheck to paycheck is not a sign of financial well-being. From iVillage. If you are making minimum payments, you are going to pay several times what the items you purchased are actually worth. If you truly cannot afford more than minimum payments, STOP using your credit cards right now, cut them up, and put as much extra money you can to paying them off so you're not caught in case you have an emergency!

Myth #3: If my debts get to be too much, I'll just file for bankruptcy.

Truth: Bankruptcy is a very serious matter and should be a last resort, not an easy out. It is a legal case filed with the bankruptcy court that is a matter of public record, and it can be reported for the rest of your life if you apply for certain loans, life insurance or jobs. Many people who have filed bankruptcy wish they had tried other alternatives before filing. Once you file, you will always be ''a person who filed bankruptcy,'' and you can never take that back. From iVillage. Bankruptcy is not a free "out" or an easy solution. It's a long and humiliating process. Also, most importantly, you can only file for bankruptcy once in your lifetime. If you file once, you are likely to continue the same spending habits and get yourself in financial trouble again. And the second time, there's no way out.

Myth #4: Aren't there positive uses of a credit card? Like rebates and airline miles?

Truth: Responsible use of a credit card does not exist. Credit card debt is a major problem in America. There is no positive side to credit card use. You will spend more if you use credit cards. Even by paying the bills on time, you are not beating the system! But most families don't pay on time. The average family today carries $8,000 in credit card debt according to the American Bankers' Association. Now let's talk about the rebates. If you were using a credit card at 5%, you would have had to have spent $80,000 to get $4,000 rebates on new cars that lost $6,000 of value when you drove them off the lot. That is not a good deal! From Dave Ramsey. It's important to note that since you will spend MORE money when you use a credit card, this extra money spent is greater than or equal to any rewards you may receive from using the credit card. On average, people spend 20% more on credit than with cash. There are no cards that give you the equivalent of 20% back (at least not all the time), so you still lose. In fact, from Dave Ramsey, "A study of credit card use at McDonald’s found that people spent 47% more when using credit instead of cash. This is money you could have saved." So no, you're not winning by getting 5% cash back!

Myth #5: I can wrap up all of my credit card debt into a home equity loan and my interest will be tax deductible.

Truth: You have just placed your home at risk and could lose it if you fail to make your payments. Nobody ever plans not to be able to make her payments. The reason the lender uses your home as collateral is so she can take it from you if you default on the loan. As for the tax deduction, who knows whether the interest will be deductible for the life of the loan? Credit card interest used to be deductible but no longer is. Are you confident that home equity interest will always be deductible? From iVillage. Do not go into MORE debt to pay your debt! You are risking your future by borrowing from one area to pay another. Pay down your debt directly and get rid of it so you don't risk losing your home or anything else.

Myth #6: If I don't use credit, I'll never be able to buy anything.

Truth: If you don't use credit, you won't have debt. Remember when people used to pay for purchases in cash? If you want something bad enough, save for it. It is significantly more rewarding to purchase something and own it outright than to create another liability. From iVillage. Yes, you will be able to buy things!! If you aren't making monthly payments to credit cards, that's money you'll have to spend on other things. Nice things, that are yours to keep. You have to budget well, but you really don't NEED credit!

Myth #7: You NEED credit cards to build your credit score, or else you can't get a mortgage.

Truth: No, you don't need a credit score at all. These days, mortgage companies like you to have one because then their job is easy: if you have a certain number, you get a loan. If not, you don't. But mortgage companies can also choose to underwrite the loans (that is, look at your financial history personally to assess your risk) and you can get it. Or, of course, you can just save up and pay cash. :)

Dave Ramsey has this to say about credit scores:

A credit score is not an indicator of having won financially. It’s an indicator of having borrowed and paid back money. My credit score is zero. Every single bit of your FICO score algorithm is built and calculated on you borrowing money. The breakdown is 35% of it is your payment history, 30% is your debt level, 15% is length of time in debt, 10% is new debt and 10% is type of debt. It’s an I-love-debt score. I would never not hire someone because their beacon score is low due to not borrowing. Anyone who wouldn’t hire you for that reason is too stupid to work for.

The thing that can drive your personal credit score down is borrowing and not repaying; that’s called bad credit. If that drives your FICO score down, then it’s a legitimate thing. But not having a credit report score and not being hired by someone because of that doesn’t dry up your job prospects. And as far as the Boy Scouts, they might rule you out based on bad credit, but not no credit. I agree that a low credit score that causes higher insurance rates is stupid, but there’s not much I can do about that. I became wealthy because I don’t borrow money.

Myth #8: I need to have just one credit card, for emergencies.

Truth: This is why you have an emergency fund. You should have a minimum of $1000 saved in a place you can access quickly in case you have the type of emergency you'd typically have put on a credit card, like car repairs, furnace break down, etc. If you have a much larger emergency, credit is an even worse idea. Putting several thousand dollars on a credit card (especially if you have an emergency that requires on-going payments) pretty much guarantees you can't pay it back, and at 18% interest or even higher, you're going to end up paying many times what you originally owed. Find another way to pay, or, better yet, try to negotiate a lower rate.

Did you know that if you can't afford medical bills, you can go in and negotiate with the hospital? One family we knew had someone who required a $30,000 surgery, and they don't have health insurance. This would have destroyed their finances and forced them to declare bankruptcy. They went into the hospital and negotiated and came out with a bill of a manageable $2000. Yes -- really. Another person we know looked into various aid options (he was single and making a bit under $30,000 per year) when he unexpectedly needed surgery, and he ended up not paying at all. So, negotiation is your BEST solution! Much better than using any form of debt to pay! You can also use this when purchasing anything large, in any industry, whether it's an emergency or not.

Any other credit card myths you'd like to share? Did you learn anything new?

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Natural Dishwasher Detergent

2010-01-17T20:00:00.002-05:00

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Well, we were using soap nuts for our laundry when we realized that we were still washing our dishes in the usual grocery-store stuff. And worse, the cheapest brand they had, which was so strongly chemical-smelling I could hardly stand it. And THAT was on the dishes?! That we eat off nightly?!

Enough. There had to be a better option.

I started searching online and found this recipe:

*1 part baking soda
*1 part borax

I bought some (that stuff is CHEAP!) and mixed it up and tried it. Initial tests were great! The dishes looked a bit cleaner than they usually did. I think it was removing some of the residue left by the chemical stuff.

But over time, I grew much less enamored with it. My glasses grew cloudy, and bits of food or other yuck got stuck to them. Half the dishes weren't even clean. We actually bought a new dishwasher, and got the same result. Worse, brown and white powdery stuff was building up on all my plastic, including the inside of the dishwasher itself. Yuck. You can read Kitchen Stewardship's adventure and see that Katie concluded about the same thing I did about this at-home recipe.

We decided to try soap nuts next. I took a handful (maybe 20?) and boiled them in water until I got a nice brown liquid. To this I added a few drops of lemon and orange essential oils. This isn't necessary and I don't always do it, but it helps the smell a little. I haven't noticed any difference in cleaning the dishes though.

This mixture was better. The dishes were cleaner. No more white, powdery residue on my plastic (the dishwasher itself still has the residue, but maybe it just needs cleaned first? I tried to sponge it off but I was feeling impatient and didn't do a very good job). The glasses are sometimes spotted, sometimes not. The dishes are at least clean and rarely need re-washing. This is acceptable to me, and really, we did buy a refurbished, bottom-of-the-line dishwasher, so how do I know it's not partially my dishwasher? Or that we have hard water (we do)?

The verdict is, soap nuts are the best homemade option so far. Anyone have other ideas they want to share with me?

I hear that Biokleen and Mrs. Meyer's make great natural options, but frankly, I can't bring myself to pay that much when I have some natural options I can make it home that are "okay." If nothing worked I'd break down and do it, but if it WORKS, even if things don't look fabulous (I mean, at this point, it's only the clear glass that's even a bit cloudy...not my blue glass plates!)...I'll stick with it.

By the way, none of these are affiliate links and I don't get paid anything to do this...I'm just sharing what I know.

What do you use to wash your dishes? What works the best for you?

Natural Laundry Soap: Soap Nuts!

2010-01-16T20:00:00.004-05:00

100 Day!

2010-01-16T17:00:00.002-05:00

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Today is a special day. It is the 100th post! The blog started mid-October and I have posted daily, and now we are all the way at 100 posts. Isn't that fabulous?

And if that weren't enough of a celebration, Daniel is six months today! I can't believe he's so old. He's now an "older baby." Believe it or not, he started army crawling (backwards, lol) a couple weeks ago. He's just about got the going forward part, but he only manages it by sticking his butt up in the air and sort of scooting forward. It's very cute!

Happy 100 Day!! I'm working (hopefully) on some cool giveaways and also some (possibly) big announcements about our family, so look for those soon! The regularly scheduled post will still be coming tonight at 8, but I just wanted to celebrate 100 posts a little early. :)

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Our Story: Part 2

2010-01-15T17:00:00.004-05:00

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Part 2 of "Our Story." Based on the comments on the first half, I must ask all of you to read this with an open mind. Please also note that is ONLY our experience and we are not recommending anything to anyone else. We welcome honest questions and differing opinions, but please refrains from insults and personal attacks. We are all adults here (I hope) and need to behave as such. Thanks!

I left the end of part 1 of our story with our wedding date: July 29th, 2006. But I did skip a lot of parts of our dating experience, and haven't talked at all about our early marriage experience. I'm going to get to that now.

Ben and I talked a LOT when we were dating. It was partially because we lived two hours apart and most days didn't see each other. But it was also because we both love to think, analyze, and discuss things to death. So much so that my mother once told me I shouldn't marry him because we were acting like it was "business transaction" instead of a relationship (we didn't feel that way though!). We are just very intense, analytical people. Truly so much that by the time we got to our premarital counseling, we had already thoroughly discussed most of the issues they threw at us.

We knew exactly what we wanted from life: where we wanted to live, who would work and doing what, how many kids we wanted and when, and lots more.

I remember one day we were discussing having kids. We'd talked about it quite a lot already, but we were driving up to an outdoor concert in Cleveland (Cincinnati Pops play John Williams, if you're interested) and we talked about it most of the way there. I said I had always wanted 4: two boys and two girls (as if I get to pick). Ben said he thought 5 was a good number. I said, okay, that sounds good. There was a lot more to it than that, but I can't recall remember all the details of the situation anymore. But we were sure.

So then we got married. We went to Disney World for our honeymoon at the end of July and beginning of August. We only had three days because Ben had just started a new job (the one he has now) and didn't really have any vacation time. I was still in college then, slated to graduate the following spring. I said to him, "You know, we could try for a baby in September and I could finish most of school, then go back when the baby is a few months old." He said NO. At that time we were using birth control. Our parents knew how eager we were to have children, and advised us to wait to even try until I was completely finished with college.

Well, it ended up that I was going to finish everything November 2007. So in February we sat down and I said, "This is the first month we could try and I could still finish school." So we decided to see what would happen. I haven't taken any birth control since that time. It only took us until May, when we conceived Bekah. It was a hot, hot summer and I was nauseous and tired and our central air broke...rather miserable first trimester.

The pregnancy and other details aren't really important. We were thrilled -- and terrified -- to become parents. Ben couldn't really relate at all because he had no idea what to expect. He was supportive but generally uninterested in the details of pregnancy because it just wasn't real to him (it became real VERY FAST after Bekah came and the second time wasn't like that at all).

A truly important part of our marriage was December, 2007. Bekah was due the following month and Ben had saved up his vacation all year, and he took nearly the entire month off. We spent lazy days sitting together, talking, reconnecting after all the busy-ness of our lives. This time we had really changed us and brought us closer together -- just in time for Bekah to arrive!

I like to joke that our life has happened in 9-month segments. We got married in Jul. 06, then I got pregnant in Apr. 07 (found out in May), 9 months later. Bekah arrived in January 08, 9 months after that. When she was 9 months old I got pregnant with Daniel, and of course he arrived 9 months later. Now he's almost 6 months old, so we'll see what happens in a few more months! :)

The reason I've written this is because I'm launching into a series on Biblical marriage and family. Ben and I have studied this carefully (and continue to on a regular basis). We have gone through some devotionals together, and have listened to some sermon series on the Biblical family (his father gave us a set on CD right after we got married). We've also read several books. Despite all this, I don't think our marriage has been as Godly as it could be, or should be. I'm hoping to share everything I have learned and am learning with you so that you can take this journey with me, to make your marriage better.

I've also chosen to do this because recently, it has really hit me that we are still at the beginning of our marriage. We don't thoroughly know each other yet. Yes, we've known each other almost 5 years and have been married about 3.5 years. Yes, we talk all the time and we "know" each other quite well by anyone's standards. But think about this: how many times have you seen a favorite movie, or read a favorite book? So many that you could recite it word-for-word. Yet, each time you watch it or read it, you notice some tiny, subtle nuance that you didn't before. "I never realized that character wore that shirt then," or "Oh, that sentence didn't say quite what I thought it did." These are details that many would consider unimportant, and if you're looking at the general story line, they are. But when you're talking about this level of detail in your marriage, those kinds of things ARE very important. I have a feeling that when we have been married for 25 or 30 years that we'll be like that. We'll know each other so well, be so completely entrenched in one another, that we could never be separated. We'll be two halves of a whole, as God commands us to be.

But first we have to spend a lifetime trying to get there, by loving one another and doing the best we can to know and cherish and respect one another. And that is why I'm writing this now.

That's most of our story. If I've forgotten anything, I'll try to remember and tell you!

Are you ready to learn more about the Bibical marriage and family life? Do you have any resources to share with us?

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Soup: Comfort Food

2010-01-14T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Here are three of my favorite soup recipes! They are great winter comfort foods.

Chicken Chili
Ingredients:
¾ cup chopped onion
1 large green pepper, chopped
2 tbsp. olive oil
1 large clove of garlic, minced
1 – 2 jalapenos, chopped
6 oz. tomato juice
6 c. chicken stock
2 large chicken breasts (about 1.5 lbs)
3 15.5 oz. cans chili beans
3 tbsp. cumin
4 tbsp. chili powder

Directions: Heat oil on medium, add green pepper, jalapeno, onion, and garlic. Cook until vegetables are soft, 5 – 10 minutes. Add the rest of the ingredients and stir to combine. Taste and adjust cumin and chili powder if a spicier flavor is desired. Cook for 1 – 2 hours until chicken and vegetables are cooked through. Remove chicken from pot and cut into bite size pieces; return to chili. Serve immediately or freeze for later. Makes 6 – 8 servings.

Potato Soup
Ingredients:
2 tbsp. butter or coconut oil
3 strips bacon, chopped
½ cup onion, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped
2 tbsp. flour
2 medium potatoes, chopped
3 cups chicken broth or stock
½ tsp. celery salt
½ tsp. thyme
½ tsp. parsley
¼ tsp. black pepper
½ pint cream or coconut milk

Directions:
Melt butter in large saucepan. Add bacon, onions, celery, and spices, cooking until veggies are soft and bacon is crisp. Add flour and stir until it is smooth. Then, add potatoes and broth or stock and cook on medium heat (soup should boil lightly) until potatoes are soft. Stir; add cream. Heat through, remove from heat, and serve immediately. Add green onions, if desired. 2 servings.

Chicken Noodle Soup
Directions:
4 tbsp. butter or coconut oil
4 tbsp. flour
4 stalks celery, chopped
4 small carrots, peeled and chopped
1 small white onion, diced
4 – 6 oz. chicken breast
8 cups chicken stock
8 oz. noodles
1 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. celery salt
½ tsp. pepper

Directions:
Saute onion in butter. Add flour, stir and cook until flour is lightly brown. Add carrot, celery, stock, vegetables, chicken breast, and spices. Cook 1 – 2 hours, until chicken is tender. Add noodles 5 – 10 minutes before serving. Serves 4 – 6.

Water Kefir Update

2010-01-13T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Last time I posted about water kefir, we'd made several unsuccessful batches and one successful batch. That is, drinkable. We had ideas for more. So, now that it's been a few weeks, are you curious how it went?

We have success! The newest batch of kefir is going fast because we both really like it and are drinking 2 - 3 bottles a day. So, let me share with you our new favorite recipe:

Grape Water Kefir (Makes 12 16-oz. bottles)
5 quart mason jars
15 c. water
1.25 c. sugar
5 tbsp. water kefir grains
7.5 c. grape juice (preferably organic)
12 16-oz. glass bottles with tightly sealing top
Plastic spoon
Cheesecloth and rubberbands

In each (clean) mason jar, add 3 c. water and 1/4 c. (white) sugar. Stir to dissolve the sugar. Add 1 tbsp. of kefir grains to each jar. (Use a plastic spoon for all of this.) Cover each jar with a piece of cheesecloth and attach it with a rubberband. Allow the jars to sit 2 days.

Strain the kefir grains through cheesecloth and set aside to reuse. Pour 1.25 c. of the kefir into each glass bottle. Then, add 5 oz. (1/2 c. + 2 tbsp.) grape juice to each bottle. Cap the bottles. Let them sit on the counter 2 - 3 days, until you start to see bubbles developing around the edges. Then, refrigerate them and enjoy! Make sure to point the bottles away from you when opening because they will "pop" pretty nicely!

This version tastes just like grape soda to me, without the artificial aftertaste. Stronger-flavored juices seem to do better than weaker ones. If you're going for a "soda substitute," grape or cherry juices will produce good ones. Other people like to get fancy with their water kefir and add egg shells (honestly, we should probably try that for the calcium), dates, lemon slices, and lots of other things. I found this all confusing and decided to just skip it. The version we have is yummy and easy!

We have a batch of cherry going right now, and I expect that will be yummy too! Soon maybe we'll try cranberry, and you could also try blueberry, pomegranate, or whatever other flavor (or blend of flavors) that you enjoy!

In case you have different sized bottles, the proportion is 2 parts water kefir to 1 part juice.

Have you tried water kefir yet? Do you think it would be a good substitute for your family if you enjoy soda?

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Health News Tuesday: GM Foods, HIV Tests, Six Risky Chemicals in your Body

2010-01-12T08:00:00.001-05:00

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Health News Tuesday!

Remember, today is the first time that this is a carnival! Enter your link in the Mr. Linky box below. You can link to any interesting news articles you have found, articles you have reviewed on your blog, or any posts you have done about how to be healthier -- changing your eating habits, getting over colds, etc. They don't have to be new posts, just something that would be of interest to my audience and health-related!

Too Much TV Can Mean Earlier Death
A new study shows that people who watch more than 4 hours of TV per day are more likely to die, especially of heart disease.

Coconut Oil and Milk are Good For You
New details on why, and how to use them.

Full Body Scanners May cause DNA Damage
The scanners used at the airport, besides being a violation of your privacy (they outline your private areas quite well) also may cause DNA damage because they emit radiation.

Plans for British 'GM Food Revolution' Come Under Fire
Scientists, organic experts, and agriculture experts are speaking out against GM farming.

HIV/AIDS Test a Myth
Exclusive footage from a new documentary, plus commentary.

Six Risky Chemicals You're carrying in your Body
Six most common chemicals in our bodies and the sources.

Mama Cloth

2010-01-11T20:00:00.007-05:00

Indoor Gardens: Part 1

2010-01-10T20:00:00.003-05:00

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Recently, we started a hydroponic garden. "Hydroponic" means to grow in water. I didn't get it until I visited an indoor gardening store -- I thought the plants just grew directly in the water. Tomatoes are often grown hydroponically (which is what we are growing) and I couldn't understand how the tomato stalk could possibly stand up in just water. But what did I know?

Not much, as it turns out. This post is going to detail our first attempts at starting the garden and all the stuff we learned NOT to do.

First, in hydroponic gardening, there is a "water table" set up with water that circulates and has a nutrient solution in it. There is also a grow light positioned above this table. Within the table are the plants. Each plant is started in a tiny "starter cube," pictured below. Once the roots show on the outside, they are placed inside a big black, open pot filled with little rocks. This is how the plants grow their roots and remain stable -- being planted in these individual pots. Water tables are set up to handle different numbers of plants depending on their size. Ours handles a total of 6 plants at a time.

We purchased organic seeds and organic growing solution, in addition to the water table and light. We are determined to get BETTER tomatoes from this than we could purchase at the store, and cheaper! We determined it would be only about 1/6 the price to grow them than buy them. Maybe less. Hydroponic tomato plants, depending on the source you consult, can bear up to 300 lbs. of fruit per year. It's important to note that tomato plants are perennials, and given ideal growing conditions, can continue to produce much longer than those of us in temperate climates are familiar with.

The first night, we set up our water table with filtered water and checked the PH. It was very wrong. We left it for a couple of days and checked again -- it was much closer after it had sat for a few days and run through the system. We dipped our starter cubes in the solution, put the seeds inside, and left them to sit on the top of the tray, under the light, so they could germinate.

Only they didn't.

Two weeks later we still had nothing. It looked just like it had when we'd planted it. We couldn't figure out why. Then we went back to the indoor gardening store and learned a few things:

*The starter cubes need to remain wet (we'd re-dipped them in the water to keep them wet)

*The starter cubes need to remain in a moist environment

*The starter cubes can't get too much nutrient solution

We had dipped them in the water filled with nutrient solution several times to keep them wet, but they kept drying out. In this process they got WAY too much nutrient solution and this killed the seeds. So, we left the store with more starter cubes and a special plastic tray with a dome lid on it. This tray and lid is where we put the plants so that when the moisture evaporates from the cubes, it goes on the tray and "rains" back down on the cubes, keeping them in a humid environment. This, apparently, is the proper way to start the garden.

So we are trying again now. Hopefully the next round germinates nicely and we'll have some good pictures and updates to give you in a month or so!

Are you interested in indoor gardening? Have you ever tried? If so, what was your experience?

Alternatives to Credit and Living Within Your Means

2010-01-09T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Now that you've made a promise to get rid of credit card debt (hopefully), it's time to explore some alternatives to using credit cards. If you haven't seen our previous posts on ways to save money, please go back and visit them. But now it's time to talk specifically about living within your means.

This goes back to the theme of personal responsibility we've been talking about for awhile now. You have to live within your means: spend what you actually earn, not what you wish you earned. In this country, far too many people feel that they're entitled to a certain type of lifestyle. Perhaps they grew up with it, or perhaps their neighbors have it. And it seems so easy to obtain because credit is available. But credit, of course, is a gamble. If you buy what you can't afford, you can lose it all. And, you are NOT entitled to anything you cannot truly afford (without credit).

So, let's talk about some alternatives to credit! What can you do?

1) Cash

Good, old-fashioned cash. Dave Ramsey recommends the envelope system. That is, at the beginning of the month (or week, or whatever your budget period is) you take out all the cash you need for household expenses and place them into separate envelopes. One for gas, one for groceries, one for clothing, etc. When the cash in that envelope is gone, that's all you get. You can't spend more in that category until you get paid again.

2) Debit Cards

ONLY DEBIT! If it can be used as credit it's no good. If you don't like carrying around cash, though, debit cards will work. Set up a few different accounts and add the right amount of money to each. Set it up so that when the money's gone, it declines your card. At the least, you'll incur fees if you overspend. We use debit cards. We have three accounts: savings, bill pay (house, electricity, gas, cell phones, insurance, etc.), and "house" (groceries, gas, clothes, etc.). There is only so much in each category, and when it's gone, we cannot spend more.

3) Savings Accounts

This is really huge. When you're contemplating a big purchase, DON'T take out a loan or put it on a credit card! Instead, plan ahead and set aside money to pay for it. Then, when you're ready to buy (you might even earn a little interest in the mean time!), take your money into the store and just buy it. It requires a lot more planning, but this is a good thing. It completely eliminates impulse purchases because you have to really do a lot of research to see if you want the item, which item is the best (like, which model or brand), where you can find the best deal, etc. Sometimes you can even get a discount for paying in cash up front.

It's a good idea to use ALL of these forms of payment at one time or another. Obviously you need to have some cash, for emergencies if nothing else (just $10 or so that you keep). You need to have money (cash or debit) easily accessible for groceries, gas, and other basic necessities. And you should also have a savings account for any major purchases. You may even want to have more than one savings account so you can save for different purchases in different accounts.

The important thing about NOT using credit is that it forces you to live within your means. That is, you spend as much or less than you earn. You can't spend what you don't have if you don't have any credit to rely on. I know I've mentioned this before but it's a really, really important reason why you shouldn't use credit. You must be personally responsible for your spending, which means that you can spend only what you have and not rely on others to give you extra money.

This should give you peace of mind, too, even if it seems difficult or annoying at first, for two reasons:

1) Anything you have bought is YOURS. It will always be yours, unless you decide to sell it or give it away. There is no chance that you'll lose your job or have an unexpected expense come up that prevents you from making payments so that you eventually lose the item. There is no gamble, no risk. You are free and clear.

2) You aren't stuck with a decent part of your budget tied up in minimum monthly payments for the rest of your life, so you have that "extra" money to spend on things you need or want! If you really look at your budget, it's likely that a fair amount of your money each month goes to some type of credit payment -- credit cards, student loans, car loans, mortgage, etc. Imagine what life would be like without any of that! Or even with just a mortgage. Lots better, right?

In case you're still not convinced that credit is bad and you should live within your means, I have even more on this topic coming up soon!

Do you have credit card debt? If not, how do you pay for things?

Our Story: Part 1

2010-01-08T17:00:00.003-05:00

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Today's post is the first in my series on Godly relationships and family life. I thought I would start by sharing our story with you -- how Ben and I met and got married, for this first part.

It was January, 2005. I had broken up with my previous boyfriend in May of 2004, but we had remained close until the end of 2004. It was only in January 2005 that I was able to admit that it was really and truly over between us. I sat down then, and wrote out how I was feeling, and that I felt I was finally ready to start searching for "the one." I was 19, almost 20 (okay, do the math...now you know how old I am!). I wrote out a long list of characteristics: nerdy, into computers, not into sports, tall, big build, religious, local. Then I set it aside and started going to online dating sites.

I met a few guys, and had a few dates. They were all perfectly nice, but...just not for me. I never went on a second date with any of them. In May, I found a Christian dating site. On the general dating sites I'd tried, so many guys seemed into drinking, partying, and having sex outside of marriage -- which I was not. My first experience on the Christian site was, WHOA! There were so many awesome guys with the same values I had. There was one profile in particular that caught my attention...Wattsdude. I looked at several profiles and sent many guys "smiles," but that one...at first, I just clicked off it. But I kept coming back to it. I stared at the picture for a long time. The guy was tall, kind of angry-looking, and standing far back. It was hard to see any details of his features. But somehow, I thought, "I could see myself married to this guy." So I sent him a smile.

The next day he sent me an IM (I'd sneakily put my screen name in my profile). I responded, and we talked for HOURS! I went to bed that night feeling...awesome, special. This was really something. His name was Ben.

Every night for the next week, we talked for hours and hours. Ben was working second shift as a retail manager then, and usually got home between 10 and 11. I would wait, eagerly anticipating his arrival, and we would talk until 3 or 4 in the morning. Sometimes even longer. He said I made him smile, and no one made him smile. I ran downstairs several times to tell my mom things we were talking about. He understood things I thought and felt like no one ever had before.

Then he suggested we meet in person, have a date. He lived two hours away from me, but was willing to drive to me. His location, by the way, was the ONLY thing that did not meet the criteria I'd written out in January! I agreed.

By that time I was in summer school. I remember driving home from school the morning of our first date, filled with hope, and...love. I knew I was in love with him and I hadn't even met him yet. (I learned later that on his way to meet me, he called his sister and told her that he thought he was in love with me, too, and felt we would get married.)

I saw him walking up the driveway that night...he was TALL! (He is 6'2" almost and I am 5'3.") We were so very nervous. We went out for a walk, then out to dinner. He told me all kinds of ridiculous things, lecturing me on why Walmart was good and technology was awesome and telling me how special he is. But, you'd have to know him to understand, he wasn't saying it to be pompous, he was earnest, eager, innocent. He did, and does, tell it like it is and he's not afraid to say things that many others are.

We parted that night, afraid to even get near one another, but agreed to a second date. This time when I said that, I meant it.

We continued to talk for hours every single night. Ben came to see me the following week, and this time we hung out with some friends, went miniature golfing, and watched a movie at my house. He spent some time messing with my parents' computer. I stood behind him, wanting to put my hands on his shoulders, a bit nervous about doing so, and thought, "I could see myself married to this guy." That was when I knew.

In the next few weeks we started to talk about getting married. By the time I'd known him only a month, I knew if he asked me to marry him right then, I would. We would get to know each other more and figure everything else out later. I was absolutely sure I would marry him. I remember going out with friends on June 18th (just over a month after we'd met, and only days after we started "officially" dating -- which, by the way, amounted to him asking me over IM "so are we boyfriend and girlfriend or what?") and telling them, "Do not be surprised to see me engaged by the end of the year."

I visited him for the first time in mid-June, around the time we started dating (actually, we had the "are we dating" conversation that night, after I drove home). I was nervous to drive so far alone but I did. I was so emotional and crazy and excited to be with him. We drove around, and talked, and went bowling, and watched a movie. I was still afraid to touch him or even get too close. But strangely I felt totally comfortable. It was like coming home. That night was the first time we ever hugged each other...even though we were still both pretty nervous!

Soon after, we got into seriously talking about marriage. By mid-July we were sure we would get married. Ben had met my parents a couple times, very briefly. I hadn't met his. We shared our first kiss in mid-July, and said "I love you" for the first time on July 22nd (it's in my journal and it's exactly a year and a week before our wedding!). We talked on the phone now, for hours, and told each other every story we could think of, and spent time each night praying before hanging up. We both prayed for each other and for our relationship, and for other things going on in our lives. We also prayed separately that God would show us the way and bless us if we were meant to be together. We felt sure God had intended us for each other.

In mid-August, Ben decided to take me home to visit his family. There's something you need to understand -- I was his very first girlfriend, ever. His family had teased him for years about never dating, and about how tight-lipped he typically was about his personal life. They barely knew anything about me, other than that we had been dating for a couple months, and he was bringing me for the weekend. I was so nervous, but the second I walked into his parents' home, his mother hugged me and welcomed me. I felt so comfortable being there and talking to everyone. I had never been so comfortable in a new place before, when I was essentially surrounded by a bunch of strangers.

The next morning (keep in mind I met most of his family, including his parents, for the very first time the night before), we got up (from our separate bedrooms!) and had breakfast. We sat and talked while his mother cleaned the kitchen, and just as she was about to walk out of the room, Ben said, "Mom, we have something we want to tell you." (Now, I can only imagine what was going through her head at this point...looking at her 20-year-old son sitting there, eager and goofy with his very first girlfriend, whom she didn't know at all.) She came and sat down. Ben tossed his arm around my shoulders and we looked at each other, all silly and excited, and he said, "We're, um...thinking about getting married next year." His mother just looked at us, and said, "Okay...."

We spent the next hour discussing all of this. His mother was trying to process through all of this...so much at once! Towards the end of the discussion, his father walked into the room. Ben told him our news, and his father just grinned and said, "Yeah, I can see that." He wasn't surprised in the least.

At the end of the weekend, we drove back to my parents' house. They weren't home, and Ben had to leave. But when they got there, I told them our plans. My mom laughed. My dad seemed a bit upset. The ironic part (I learned later) was that while I was gone, my dad told my mom "If it goes well this weekend, they're going to get married." And my mom said, "No way! It's not that serious." Our fathers somehow knew that we were meant to be, while our mothers worried more.

We began planning our wedding in September. By this time, I was driving down and staying with Ben every weekend. He had roommates, so I stayed in his room but slept on the air mattress across the room. We did lots of fun things, and even just hung out (this started his journey to eating better...he'd take me grocery shopping and I'd shake my head when he started to fill the cart with frozen pizzas and fries, so he'd say "Fine! Tell me what to buy," and we'd shop and cook together).

At Christmas, Ben's grandparents picked me up and took me to his parents' house (there were many, many other interesting adventures in there, of the times I met his grandparents, etc. but I don't have time to tell it all now). It was Christmas Eve. Ben said, "Let's take our suitcases upstairs so they're not in the way." His sister had hugged me twice by then, which I thought was a little weird, but whatever. I agreed. We went upstairs and Ben (who was wearing gray sweatpants and a Napoleon Dynamite t-shirt, something I never let him forget) started talking to me. Then he said, "Well, I need to change my pants," and went to close the door. I was really surprised -- didn't he want me to leave the room before he did that? Unlike a lot of couples, we were waiting until we got married and I'd never seen him undressed at all. But, nervously, I went with it. He came over to talk to me again, then got down on one knee, pulled a ring box from beneath the bed, and said, "Will you marry me?" Of course I said yes! (After that I did leave the room and he changed, lol.)

We went downstairs and everyone else knew exactly what had been going on upstairs, and they were all thrilled. He'd driven up the night before and had shown everyone the ring and had told them his plans. I make fun of him all the time for the way he proposed, but he said that if he'd gotten dressed up and taken me out somewhere nice, I would have immediately known. That's true, because Ben hates getting dressed up and going out, so doing so would have meant something big. He said he preferred to surprise me. I wasn't entirely surprised because he had promised to propose by the end of the year and it was Christmas, but I didn't know where or when he was going to do it exactly.

Our wedding date was set for July 29th, 2006. We continued to pray and plan and were so excited to start our lives together. It was torture not being able to be together every second of every day. By May I was spending 5 days a week here (he already owned the house we live in now) and only 2 days at my parents'. The more intimate details of our courtship, I'll skip...but suffice to say that we did wait until we were married.

Anyway, we were married on July 29th and we began our life together! It was wonderful and we feel so blessed and happy to be together. We are sure that God brought us together and we are just thrilled with our life.

More on our story (including children) later....

How did you meet your spouse? Do you feel God brought you together?

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Gluten-free Pancakes

2010-01-07T20:00:00.002-05:00

Credit Card Debt: Getting Rid of It

2010-01-06T20:00:00.009-05:00

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Now that the holidays are over, how are you doing on debt? If you're like most Americans, you spent a LOT on your credit cards to pay for the holidays. Of course, if, like us, you did a homemade Christmas, you probably didn't spend much or anything on credit. But, the average American racks up $935 in credit card debt during the holidays.

But, that's over now. It's the new year, and it's time to get rid of that credit card debt. This time, FOREVER!

It's not easy to pay off credit cards. First, take a look at the previous entries about Ways to Save Money Around the House, Creating a Budget, and Cutting Spending. If you can cut spending and save money around the house, then you are on your way to getting your money under control.

Make sure you have a place in your budget for paying off debt. Any extra money you set aside should be placed towards paying off your credit cards. Follow these steps:

1) Sit down and look at what credit card debt you have. Pull out ALL your cards, including individual store cards. Write down the balance on each card and then write down the total.

2) Call the companies and cancel ALL the credit cards. They will try to get you to stay by offering you lower interest rates, increased balance limits, etc. They may get very insistent or even nasty. Be firm and say "I want to cancel this card and I am not interested in any other options or services." Also, request a letter be sent to you confirming that the card has been canceled so that you have proof that the account is closed.

3) Cut up ALL those credit cards immediately so you are not tempted to try to use them. Get rid of them. If (when) new offers come in the mail, shred them and throw them out. Don't get any new credit cards. Don't be sucked in by "rewards programs" or the promise of "good credit ratings" or anything else. Just get rid of the cards and don't get new ones. Don't get sucked into the idea that you "need" a credit card for emergencies, either. You don't. That's why you should have an emergency fund. You never, ever "need" a credit card.

4) Pay off the card with either the highest interest rate or the lowest balance first. Dave Ramsey recommends the lowest balance so that you can pay it off quickly, which gives you the psychological feeling that you're doing something about your problem. He calls it the Debt Snowball. But we recommend paying off the highest interest rate if it is significantly higher than the others. This will save you money in the long run.

5) DON'T fall for the "debt consolidation" schemes. It will not actually help you, it is borrowing debt from one place to pay off another. Don't use a home equity loan or another credit card to pay off the debt for the same reason. Shifting debt around is not actually going to help you.

It's very important to make paying off your credit cards a priority. Of all the types of debt you have, credit cards are usually the easiest to obtain and use, and the ones on which you pay the highest interest rates and also the highest fees. It's not something you want to get caught up in. Or, if you already are, it's something you want to get away from immediately.

Credit cards should never be used for necessities (well, or at all...). Cut all non-essential spending if you have to, sell an extra car, or get another job. If you HAVE to use your credit cards to buy groceries, something is very wrong with your finances. Redo your budget, take a much closer look at your finances. Where is your money going? Get rid of cable, internet, anything you don't really need. Hold a garage sale and sell off anything you don't need to raise money. You must be able to pay for your basic necessities without any form of credit. Even if you have to get a job at Taco Bell making $9 an hour for awhile.

Where you might run into trouble with this is if you call the credit card companies (or they call you) and the companies try to tell you that you MUST pay your credit card bills first, before you pay for your necessities (while paying credit cards should come before non-necessities like cable, cell phones, etc. it should never come before groceries, gas, housing, etc.). Tell them NO. You must pay your housing, your food, your basic transportation (gas and insurance...if you owe a lot of money on a car, SELL it and get a $1000 car that you can pay off immediately), health care, etc. Debt payment comes ONLY after you have met your basic necessities. If they harass you, hang up on them. Tell them not to call. Don't answer the phone. Get nasty back to them. Do not let them bully you.

It's against the law for the credit card companies to harass you. There is a law called the "Fair Debt Collection Practices Act." They can only call you 8 AM and 9 PM (your local time), and only a reasonable number of times per day that a normal person wouldn't feel is harassment. They can't tell you that they can put you in jail, they can't tell you they'll sue you. Credit card collectors knowingly break this law because they know that you are not aware of this law, and that they can create fear by saying these things to force you to pay. Or, they can make you feel guilty to try to get you to pay. This is part of their tactics, it is psychological, and it is ILLEGAL. It is also common practice for companies to call your neighbors and mention that you owe money. This, too, is illegal. They can't discuss your personal financial situation with anyone not on the account. It is a tactic to embarrass you but they should not do it.

If you do not make a payment at all for 180 days, the credit card companies will write it off as a loss. They may try to sue you, but they won't get much money from you. They will often settle (with or without a lawsuit) for about 25% of what you owe, a year after you stop paying. This is a worst-case scenario; if you CAN pay it back, you should. But if you literally cannot afford to pay your debt and take care of your basic needs, your basic needs come first. Always.

And yes, you CAN do this no matter what your situation. When we got married, our house payment was 60% of our take-home pay and we didn't make enough money on paper to pay our basic bills. We had credit card debt and used credit cards for groceries and other basics. But then, despite our lack of money, we canceled all our cards and started getting serious about paying down our debt. I took a job working as a therapist for kids with autism part time. Ben worked a second job part time. I did some freelance writing, too. We made money however we could, and we got rid of our cable, subscription to Netflix, and anything else we didn't need.

Most importantly, we remained faithful in our tithing. 10% of our money went to God even when it seemed like 100% wasn't enough to live on. And somehow, with our faithful giving and humble spirits, we managed to pay off all our credit card debt before Ben ever got a raise.

Don't listen to your friends if they try to tell you that you need a credit card, or that you have to pay if you can't afford to, or that you should give in to the companies' bullying. If you truly can't afford to pay, there is NOTHING the credit card companies can do other than sue you (and, of course, tack on lots of extra charges in late fees and finance charges, which will go away mostly if they sue you), and that will take them a year. They can garnish your wages if they sue you, but the truth is, you hold most or all of the power in the situation. They try to use their psychological warfare to make you feel terrible so you'll pay. And, as I mentioned in my review of Maxed Out, some people succumb to the pressure and actually run away or commit suicide. But you CAN rise above this, get away from your debt, and rebuild your life. IF you're willing to make serious and permanent changes now.

Paying off your credit cards is an important step to take towards financial responsibility. In the future, plan for major purchases and save for them. Then, when you make those purchases (be it a $200 appliance, a car, or even a house), they are YOURS. You have saved, and you have EARNED the right to own it. Free and clear. If you've paid in cash, and something bad happens later (losing a job, etc.), it's still YOURS. You don't have to worry that anyone's going to come and take it, or that you'll have to sell it to pay for your life. It's an exhilarating feeling!

Do you have credit card debt? Are you working to pay it off? How is it going?

Health News Tuesday: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Two Foods You Should Never Eat, and B12 Deficiency Causes Coughing

2010-01-05T20:00:00.008-05:00

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Health News Tuesday!

NEW! Next week we will be turning this into a carnival! So everyone out there who has found their own excellent health news articles (from any source) can enter them! Please feel free to link to personal tips on remaining healthy on your own blogs, or other health-related posts! Look for that next week!

Toxic Burden: Women Put 515 Chemicals on Their Faces Everyday
Do you use regular make up and personal care products? Be careful, you may be putting many toxic chemicals on your skin (which are then absorbed into your body).

Vitamin B12 Deficiency is Common Cause for Chronic Coughing
Have a cough that just won't quit? B12 deficiency may be to blame.

FDA Approves Crestor for Healthy People
The FDA now approves this medication for "preventative use," meaning that taking the drug will keep healthy people from getting sick. Read Mike Adams' comments on this unbelievable issue.

Scientists Find Turmeric and Black Pepper May Prevent Breast Cancer
An interesting new study on exactly how these spices can work to prevent -- and possibly treat -- breast cancer.

Herbal Remedies for Headaches
Several non-drug cures for the common headache.

Two Foods You Should NEVER Eat
By now, we all know trans fats are bad. But how are they making trans-fat-free margarines? Another process that is, of course, BAD for you! Details in this article.

New Research Shows High-Fructose Corn Syrup is Bad for You
Yes, we all know this...but a new study has been done that shows just how bad it really is.

Calories and Weight Loss
An article by a doctor on weight loss: it's not really simple as decreasing your calories, and he explains why.

Solution to Killer Superbug Found in Norway
Guess what? It's NOT another antibiotic.

Movie Review: Maxed Out

2010-01-04T20:00:00.005-05:00

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In light of the fact that many people probably used a lot of credit to get themselves through Christmas, I thought I'd review the movie Maxed Out to start the new year. This movie is all about how much debt we have in this country (personally and the national debt). If you haven't seen it, I do recommend it, although I have some general reservations about it.

This movie, like many of its style, is filled with personal stories. I find this particular technique to be "effective," although not helpful. When I'm watching a documentary, I would like the straight facts, not muddied up by worst-case scenarios. This movie seems to blame the government and large corporations, especially credit card companies, for peoples' debt problems. Towards the end of the movie, they describe how some families can live the "American Dream" by staying out of debt, but say that most families won't manage that. I think that all families CAN manage that, if they are well informed about money and are willing to make lifestyle changes as necessary.

However, the movie did present some scary statistics:

*Credit card companies send 4 billion offers per year.

*Average household has over $8400 ) in credit card debt and spends $1300 on interest payment each year (only on credit cards).

*1980s -- $15 for late or over limit. Now (2005), $43 for late or overlimit, plus interest rates 21 – 28% .

*FICO has nothing to do with your income, and an inaccuracy rate of 90%.

*National debt clock was built in 1988. Individual family’s share is $90,000 (in 2005. Now, it is over $500,000).

That's pretty scary!

Here is a quote from a woman in the movie that sums up a lot of the people featured, and the attitude I believe a lot of people have:

"They kept offering me more, and I kept thinking, if they think I can pay it back, maybe I can pay it back."

The credit card companies are not your friends. The movie actually shows collection employees mildly harassing customers, and interviews them about their perspective on the matter. Credit is offered to EVERYONE, but especially to people who have a history of using a lot of it -- i.e. people who probably DON'T have the means to pay. Credit is frequently offered to people who have declared bankruptcy because the companies know they will use it (poorly). Credit is offered to low-income families and to college students, because these populations are more likely to splurge or to "need" credit. So an offer of credit is, by no means, a friendly way of saying "I have confidence in your ability to pay this back." It's saying "I know you will likely carry a balance and have to make finance charges and pay fees, and I know I can make money of you because of this."

The movie also goes through several issues with the national debt, including noting when various presidents have increased it (usually by borrowing from social security).

The general picture of the movie is that this country is highly leveraged and financially unstable. But other than featuring Dave Ramsey (it doesn't discuss his actual plan, though, just shows some basic information and a few radio show quotes), it doesn't actually offer a solution. The final message is unenthusiastic and the movie believes that people CAN'T escape being in debt, that it just a fact of life in America.

I disagree with this, and I would have liked to see a real solution to the problem. Luckily, I'm going to do some research and provide you with one very soon. :)

Have you seen Maxed Out? Do you use credit cards? Do you want to improve your financial situation?

Cookbook Project

2010-01-03T20:00:00.005-05:00

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Introducing....

My brand new cookbook!

The cookbook, Modern Alternative Mama in the Kitchen: A Cookbook of Whole Foods, contains over 60 recipes that use whole foods. Many are easy to put together on a weeknight and some can be easily frozen or partially prepared in advance (which and how to do this are noted in the book). Several are also allergy-friendly (gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free, legume-free, etc.). If you are interested in eating and cooking whole foods, but have no idea where to begin, this book can help you. Also included are cooking tips, sources for finding good quality foods, easy substitution ideas, and other great resources. (If you like the recipes I've posted so far, most of them -- plus many more -- will be in that cookbook.)

This cookbook will be available in just a few short weeks for those who are interested in learning more about cooking and eating whole foods!

Although writing a cookbook has been a dream of mine for years (since back when I only wished I could cook), writing it now has a special purpose. I am writing this cookbook in support of women's rights to birth where and how they choose. Part of the proceeds from this cookbook will be donated to both local and national charities that promote access to midwives, doulas, and other natural birthing resources. These include CHOICE, Ohio Families for Safe Birth, and The Big Push for Midwives. If you support this movement, please consider purchasing a cookbook. These are grassroots organizations that are trying to make a difference, and they can use all the help they can get.

Unfortunately, not a lot of women are informed that they have different choices, beyond the usual OB-hospital situation. Many wish for a more natural birthing experience but have no idea where to go to find one. Birthing centers are currently very limited, and many women have no idea how to find midwives, or that they even exist. The idea of home birth or even of natural birth is foreign to most women. (I've heard women say others are "super women" just because they gave birth unmedicated!) Rather than separating women from one another and forcing them to birth in one location, in one way, we should be uniting them and empowering them. Women should have the support of a midwife, doula, or other professional who are trained in natural birth and who believe in them and their ability to birth their baby naturally.

This cookbook is dedicated to aiding a natural lifestyle and supporting womens' right and ability to birth naturally.

Please tell everyone about the cookbook so we can get a lot of support! The cookbook will be available through this blog -- details to follow.

New Year's Resolutions

2010-01-02T20:00:00.002-05:00

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Every year since I was only about 13, I've made New Year's Resolutions. They started like any other teenager's -- find a boyfriend, do better in school, write a novel (okay, maybe TOTALLY like any other teenager's). I've always been told, if you want to meet your goals, write them down and refer to them often, and that's what my resolutions were -- goals to accomplish that year. In a typical year I had around a dozen different goals, perhaps 9 of which I really met.

Now things aren't quite the same. I'm not a young, single person with tons of free time anymore. You know, the one who has time for a full, uninterrupted 8 (or so) hours of sleep every night, time for an hour-long beauty routine every morning, and 4 or 5 hours at the end of the day to exercise, watch TV or just do whatever? Ah...those days are long gone.

But it's also true that while I believed in God then, I didn't love and follow the Lord as I do now. And that is reflected in my resolutions as well. So, without further stalling, I'll give you this year's. There are 6:

1) First and foremost, I want to really listen for God's direction in my life and follow whatever it is He wish me to do, even if it is difficult.

2) I want to do fewer projects and spend more time with my children.

3) I want to select the projects I do choose carefully and according to God's direction and do them well.

4) I want to work on being a better wife and be more open and loving.

5) I want to live for joy, not frustration, and working towards bringing this joy and love to others.

6) I want to continue on the path of natural living and make strides every month.

These are basically in order of importance. 3 and 4 are difficult to order, I'd say they're about equal.

Number 6 requires a bit more explanation. I really hesitate to get too specific. I used to (which is why I had so many goals), but inevitably God would have an unexpected direction for me and a project I'd wanted to get done would not even get started because it just wasn't what God wanted for me. I don't want to make a bunch of goals and say "I will do these," in case God pulls me in a new direction again. Because, of course, resolution #1 is to listen to God's direction. But, I will give some basic goals and ideas for #6.

a) To rid my house of as many disposable items as possible (paper towels, plates, cups, tissues, etc. I don't think Ben will let me get rid of toilet paper).

b) To buy and learn to use a dehydrator to make preserved foods and snack foods simple.

c) To learn more about and use alternative medicine.

In addition to these goals, here are a few projects I would LIKE to do this year, which may or may not happen, depending on God's will:

1) Get Bekah potty trained! (This is happening...as soon as she's ready.)
2) Sew diapers and sell them, locally (mostly just for friends)
3) Have another baby
4) Sell homemade creams, cloth items, and possibly water kefir locally
5) Grow the blog and expand its features
6) Get certified as a breastfeeding counselor and childbirth education instructor
7) Begin "preschool" home schooling Bekah
8) Sew a bunch of clothes, blankets, sheets, and other fun stuff
9) Get the house more organized
10) Write another (nonfiction) book
11) Have a large indoor garden

I realize I likely won't have time for all of that. And that's okay. Those are just some things that sound fun to me that perhaps I will get to do. And perhaps not. The 6th one could be very interesting, as some people in my life are interested in similar things (midwife, doula, etc.) and there's been talk of wanting to form a business around pregnancy and birth. It's a far off dream at the moment and may stay that way, unless God truly decides to bless it. We won't know though until it happens.

One additional thought. I'm posting these here for all to see so you can all help keep me accountable this year. That's important.

What are your resolutions? What is your plan to keep them?

New Year's Day

2010-01-01T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Happy New Year's Day!

How did you celebrate last night? Or did you go to bed before midnight? Last year (2008 - 2009), we went to bed by 10:30 or so. :) I kind of feel old!

This year, though, we had a nice dinner at home, then had a (mostly) quiet evening at home...though the kids did their best to interrupt it well past bedtime!

Coming up tomorrow are my New Year's Resolutions. I'll tell you each one and why I chose it, and you can help keep me honest all year!

Here's a little bit about what else is coming up this year:

*Details on my new cookbook project (next week!)

*A series on Godly marriage and family living

*A series on debt-free living, specifically how to get out of debt, how to stop using credit, and being financially responsible.

*More movie reviews, and some books reviews (I got some nice books on organic living for Christmas, so I'll be talking about those soon).

*Reader requests (I do take them, so if there's something you'd like to see, post below and tell me!)

Do you make New Year's Resolutions? If so, do you stick to them?

Happy New Year's Eve!

2009-12-31T20:00:00.003-05:00

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In honor of New Year's Eve, I'll keep it short. If you haven't, try one of my alcohol-free punch recipes from last week (which, umm...I didn't post because I couldn't think of any good ones. But I will have some other cool recipes out soon)!

One thing that I've tried to do on every New Year's Eve since I was a teenager is to sit down and write out my goals for the coming year. Yes, they are New Year's resolutions. But I don't make random, typical goals like "I'll lose weight" and "I'll do better at work." No, I sit down and really think about where I am and where I want to be in a year. I have a special journal that I keep, where I write these goals. I also write how I did on the previous year's goals. Throughout the year, I refer to these goals and think about how I am doing in achieving them, and how I might be able to do better. These are real goals that I truly intend to meet.

Every year I write down around a dozen goals, and I like to think I ultimately achieve over half of them, although some -- such as be a more patient mother -- are ongoing goals, which I will always be working on. I'll never achieve perfection, so it's my goal to do a little better each year.

In an upcoming post, I'll share some of this year's goals with you, so that you can help keep me honest!

Do you ever make New Year's resolutions? If so, do you keep them? I challenge everyone to make some REAL goals this year. Write them down, make them count, and see what you can do to make them happen!

Baby-led Solids

2009-12-30T20:00:00.005-05:00

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**This post has been entered in "Works for me Wednesdays" at We are THAT Family!**

When it comes to solid food, all babies start eating it eventually. The typical wisdom (of late) has been to start baby on rice cereal at 4 - 6 months, the follow up with vegetables, then fruits, and later, dairy and meats. There have been different ideas through the years (including starting babies on rice cereal as early as 2 weeks old!), but one thing all these "plans" have in common are that babies are spoon-fed their early meals.

Not so in baby-led solids.

Baby-led solids is a relatively new idea. Babies are never fed from a spoon or offered any type of purees. They are also rarely offered grains as a first food, but instead are given ripe, raw fruits and vegetables, cheese, or even bits of meat. The food is placed on a tray in front of them, and the baby is encouraged to do what he will with it -- play with it, smash it, lick it, and eat it. If he chooses not to eat, that's okay.

Babies obviously have to be a bit older before they start solids for this to work. Most babies are more in the range of 6 to 8 months, and some are even older before they'll actually eat anything this way. The idea is that if the baby refuses to eat at all, or refuses a particular food, he must not be ready for it. If he DOES choose to eat something, he must be ready for it and he clearly wants it. This gives the baby all the control over what and how much he eats. Since the baby has (hopefully) had demand-feeding up until now, he has always had control over how much he eats (and when), and he has self-regulated well. With baby-led solids, he can continue to self-regulate his eating.

We will be doing baby-led solids with Daniel. He is about 5.5 months at this time, so too young (although he does try to grab our food sometimes!). We're hoping to hold off until 8 months. This is especially important to us because of the history of food allergies. We are hoping that he will not eat things that do not make him feel good (sometimes, kids with allergies will refuse all foods until they are over a year, or certain foods, because they seem to know it is not good for them).

So, WHY would anyone do this? And what should you feed first?

Kelly Mom has a good chart and FAQ on starting solids. She recommends no earlier than 6 months, and cautions that solids DO NOT REPLACE BREASTMILK (or formula)! Solids are only for tasting and experimenting until around age 1. (Side note: Kelly mom says that babies who start solids earlier and eat more of them tend to wean earlier, too. If you have already started your baby on solids before 6 months and s/he is eating a fair amount, and you had hoped to breastfeed for quite awhile yet, don't worry! We started Bekah at 4 months and she ate a lot of solids, too, and she is still an avid nurser at 23 months. So, whatever "mistakes" you make, you can fix or overcome!)

La Leche League weighs in on baby-led solids, too (frequently called "baby led weaning;" I don't like this term because it implies that you are putting the baby from breastmilk onto solids, and this shouldn't be true -- baby should continue to breastfeed while adding complementary foods).

It's important to know how a baby's gut develops. (Click the link for indepth information. It also thoroughly explains the "leaky gut syndrome" I mentioned in a previous post.) If a baby is exclusively breastfed from birth (no supplementation at all), his or her gut will close and begin to mature around 18 weeks. Solids should never be started earlier than this. In babies who are formula fed or who have been supplemented with formula on occasion, it takes even longer for the gut to mature. Using probiotics can help, although breastfeeding is best. The reason that solid foods can't be started until the gut has closed and matured is that until this time, large, undigested proteins can get from the intestines into the bloodstream, where the body can begin to attack them as foreign invaders, creating an allergic reactions. When the gut is mature, proteins don't pass into the bloodstream until fully digested, and therefore don't create allergic reactions (this is why special formulas have pre-digested proteins or even basic amino acids, in an attempt to bypass this issue and cause no allergic reactions).

However, age isn't the only thing to look for when starting solids. The calendar is a good start -- as in, don't start sooner than 6 months of age, unless advised for real medical reasons (a lot of doctors will say "sure, 4 months is fine!" but not have any particular reason why your child NEEDS solids so early; I would not consider this a medical reason). But also look for:

*Doubled birth weight
*Ability to sit unassisted
*Development of the "pincer grasp"
*Interest in food (watching you eat, grabbing your food)
*Loss of the tongue-thrust reflex

If your baby doesn't have ALL of these, he's not ready for solids. Solids, contrary to popular belief, will not help a baby sleep through the night (there is controversy regarding babies with reflux, but my personal belief is that reflux is usually caused by allergies, or immature digestive system, and neither is fixed by feeding unnecessary food, or drugs). It is important to note that breastmilk contains 22 - 35 calories/ounce, and formula contains about 22 calories/ounce. Early solids will typically contain 5 - 10 calories/ounce, and should make up a very sparing part of the child's diet. Put this way, it's obvious that breastmilk is the fattiest and most filling food, and that solids will not "fill the child up" and help him/her to sleep longer.

Once a baby IS ready, though, here are some good first foods:

*Avocado
*Squash
*Sweet potatoes
*Chicken (cut in very tiny pieces, to avoid choking)
*Cooked apples (cut in very tiny pieces)
*Cooked pears
*Egg yolks (no whites)

You will notice that no type of grains are on this list. This is because grains are not good for young babies. The Weston A. Price Foundation recommends that no grains be introduced until around age 2 because babies have a very hard time digesting grains. They actually recommend that animal products (egg yolks, then liver, then other meats and butter) be baby's first foods, starting fruits and vegetables only after 10 months. Babies don't handle "roughage" well as adults do, because they don't produce much amylase, an enzyme required to digest grains and other roughage.

Introduce foods only one at a time, no more often than every three days. It can take awhile for reactions to show up, so if foods are introduced too quickly, it can be hard to tell which is causing a reaction. In children with a family history of allergies (especially siblings), waiting a week between new foods is a good idea. Reactions may include the following:

*Diarrhea
*Vomitting (especially projectile)
*Constipation
*Hives
*Trouble breathing/anaphylaxis
*Eczema
*Night waking
*Screaming
*Belly pain/upset/gas
*Cradle cap

Please be aware that eczema flare-ups ARE a sign of allergy and are NOT normal (Bekah's eczema ONLY flares up when she's eaten a food she's allergic to, and her doctor has indicated this is a sign to watch for). Please also be aware that some of these symptoms can be a sign that the baby is simply not ready for the food and NOT an allergy, but it still means you must wait awhile before trying it again. It is a good idea to introduce filtered water and a good probiotic at the same time as you introduce solids to hopefully minimize any reactions (per Bekah's doctors).

A lot of babies experience severe constipation when rice cereal is introduced first -- Bekah did. They actually cry and strain. This is not normal, and is a sign that their bodies are not ready to digest grains. Many parents are told this IS normal and are advised to give their babies juice, or worse, medical suppositories. The best answer is to stop feeding grains and start with other foods, or simply wait longer to feed foods at all. Remember: babies are NOT supposed to be getting a large portion of their calories from their food yet. They are only tasting and learning about new textures, experimenting.

When introducing a food, cut up a small bit of it into tiny pieces and place them on a highchair tray. Sit the baby in the highchair, and encourage him/her to play with, lick, and eat the food. If s/he is not interested, don't push him/her to try it. Just wait a couple days and try again. Always watch your child carefully when s/he is eating, especially in the first few months. If the baby indicates s/he likes the food and wants more (baby sign is really great for this), or wants some help, go ahead and help. This is BABY LED, but that doesn't mean you can't help if the baby would like you to.

Once you have introduced several foods, you can start to put more than one on the tray at once, or serve some of the family's meal to the baby (for example: egg yolks cooked with some meat). Introducing butter and coconut oil early on is a good idea, too, because both provide the needed saturated fat and cholesterol to the baby (coconut oil is cholesterol-free but does contain the medium-chain fatty acids found, besides coconut, only in mother's milk). The Weston A. Price Foundation has lots of good ideas on feeding babies (linked above).

In case you find this article a bit strange and lest you think I feel like I'm a "perfect parent" for doing things this way (as it's been brought to my attention that sometimes I come off that way when I don't mean to), let me tell you about my experience feeding Bekah. She was given formula supplements from birth to 6 weeks, then exclusively breastfed until 4 months. She was started on rice cereal just prior to reaching 18 weeks. I did this because she had stopped sleeping well at night at 3 months (although she was STILL only waking once per night, which, believe me, is a whole lot better than Daniel's doing now at almost 5.5 months) and I felt like she needed "more" and it would help her sleep through the night (it didn't. She only starting sleeping through the night "most of the time" at 22 months). Within a week we were trying pears, peas, bananas, apples, carrots, and various other foods. We didn't wait more than 2 or 3 days in between foods, and I didn't note any allergic reactions as such (horrible constipation from the rice cereal, followed by diarrhea and night waking from peas, which we now know she is allergic to). By 6 months I kind of was trying to hold back, but also sort of letting her eat "whatever." I spoonfed her everything, and made purees for her. I usually fed her either a puree of fruit or vegetable (broccoli was another common one early on) for her meals, or I fed her over-cooked, mushy, cut up fruit or vegetables. When I didn't have any around (I never bought any jars), I would feed her whatever was around -- pasta coated in canned tomato soup, cream or cheese soups, even Taco Bell cheese roll-ups once or twice. I loved that she'd eat anything. At 8 months or so I'd give her "whatever" half the time, and sweet potatoes mixed with brown rice for dinner. That stopped at 11 months after she got the stomach flu and refused to eat it anymore. Right around her birthday, she stopped eating anything except apples, bananas, bread, cheese, and potatoes, when previously she'd eaten anything. Just after this we started discovering all her allergies...and since then we've been on a roller coaster ride of trying to heal her, get her to try new foods, etc. etc. She is FINALLY willing to at least try most foods now, and is sleeping through the night...most of the time (she is 23 months). There were months and months where we just had to feed her more applesauce, or another slice of bread, because she literally would not eat anything else. It was very frustrating. Anyway -- we're trying really hard to avoid that with Daniel, so I've done all this research on how we can do a better job feeding him so that (hopefully) it doesn't happen again. Knock on wood.

How and when did you begin solids with your baby? What did you feed first? Has this post brought new ideas to you about infant feeding?

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Health News Tuesday: Organic Milk and Allergies, Natural Remedies for Candida, and more

2009-12-29T20:00:00.003-05:00

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Health News Tuesday!

Unhealthy Habits are What's Killing Us
Opinion piece on why socialized medicine isn't the solution to the problem.

Natural Exposure to Germs May Protect Kids from Infectious Disease as Adults
A new, longitudinal study shows that a "dirty"environment for children just may protect against future disease.

Baby Boomers are the First Generation to be Sicker than the Previous One
New research has found that Baby Boomers (now around age 60) tend to rely more on pharmaceuticals, require more assistance, and are more likely to be sick or overweight than their parents were at their age. An increase in sedentary lifestyle and the overuse of technology is blamed.

Natural Remedies for Candida Albicans
Suffering with repeated yeast infections? These treatments may help. (Please note I don't advocate the low-fat diet suggestion.)

Hundreds of Chemicals Found in Newborns
Researchers tested the cord blood of 10 newborns and found BPA, rocket fuel, remnants of artificial fragrances (from perfumes and detergents), and more. These chemicals are known to cause cancer and disrupt growth and development, and can cross the placenta into unborn babies.

Organic Milk Linked to Lower Rates of Asthma, Allergies, and Eczema
Please be sure your organic milk is NOT ultra-pasteurized though!

Do you have any additional health news to share with us? Please post it below!

Interview on Hypothyroid Disease

2009-12-28T20:00:00.003-05:00

Today’s post is kind of special. I got a chance to sit down with a family member recently and learn about her story. She has hypothyroidism and has been struggling with it for about 15 years. I was interested to hear her perspective on what has helped her most, as well as what else she has tried. This story is being presented as her experiences and opinions in an interview-style so that anyone who is interested can hopefully glean helpful information from it.

She doesn’t want to be identified, but if you have questions for her, you can post them as comments to me and I can forward them to her. Some of what’s in here is paraphrased, as I was typing what she was saying and may have missed some pieces, but most of it is word-for-word what she told me (there may also be some questions or prompts that I asked her that are missing, because I already knew the story and we were “remembering” together, but those don’t change any of the information presented).

Question 1: Why are you telling your story?

Answer: Basically, the reason I would come forward and share any personal information would be that years ago, when I felt so terrible, I looked everywhere for a solution and couldn't find one. So hopefully if I share what's happened to me, it will encourage other women to find a solution that will help them as well.

Q2: What is the background on your health? When did it start to go bad and why?

A: I grew up on a farm, and we ate healthy, home cooked and canned foods. I was active on the farm, and in high school sports. I considered myself to be a very healthy person. But I definitely had a craving for sugar. Sugar and bread were the things I was attracted to more than anything else.

When I went to college, I was trying to get good grades, and working, and it was very stressful. I ended up in a serious car accident that resulted in a back injury. Shortly after that I came down with a very serious case of mono that landed me in the hospital for three days, and I actually had to drop out of school, because I wasn't well enough to continue. During that time frame, I ended up meeting my husband and getting married. In the course of the next few years I had two children. After my second child was born I developed serious back pain and started seeing a chiropractor for relief.

During my 30's I feel like my health really began to fall apart. I had three active children and I tried to support their efforts. I was taking on too many responsibilities, and just really never got any rest.

Then we had a really terrible financial crisis in our business. That just kind of tipped everything over the edge. After that crisis, I went to a medical doctor and it was determined that I had some thyroid issues.

Q3: What happened then? What did the doctors tell you and do to help you?
A: I went through a series of blood tests to determine what was wrong with me, and it was labeled as hypothyroidism. Doctor #1 put me on an experimental drug program with the University of Michigan. I don't know the name of the drug, I don't know if they even gave us the name of the drug, it was supposed to be very hush-hush. You started with a very low dose and increased it for 15 days, until you were taking a really high dose. I felt terrific on the 15th day. Then you decreased the dose until the end of the month. You kept doing this every month, cycling. I felt great for 2 - 3 days out of the month on the high dose, because I was on the wrong dose for me [most of the time]. It was supposed to "jump start" your thyroid. I did this for 18 months and really felt horrible.

Q4: What did you do next?
A: I decided to go to a new doctor. Doctor #1 who gave me the drugs was really upset when I left the program. She just kept saying "Stick with the program, stick with the program" even though I was going in every month saying "I feel terrible." I realize those studies are valid to try to help people, but they sure didn't help me. I went to Doctor #2, and he labeled me as hypothyroidism too. What did he put me on? ...Synthroid. I took that for several years. I felt ok during this time period, but I never really felt good.

When I started taking Synthroid, I started gaining weight, and I that in itself made me feel even worse. I exercised and did whatever I could to eat salads and stuff, but I just kept gaining weight. In the middle of all that stuff going on, the doctor put me on an antidepressant. I just kept feeling worse, constantly feeling terrible. I started developing all this back and shoulder pain so he put me on something called Bextra. So at this point I was taking the antidepressant, the Synthroid, and the Bextra. It soon became obvious that those drugs do not mix well within the body. [Note: Bextra has since been removed from the market, declared dangerous, and a multi-million dollar class action lawsuit. I could have gotten $200 in the settlement, but it wasn't worth the hassle to get a lawyer. It does make me mad that I was "sold" something that wasn't good for me. It did nothing to improve my health.)

Q5: So did you finally find something to help you feel better? What did help?
A: So now I'm like into this quest, because I never feel good... ever. I just couldn't function, I couldn't get anything at all done. I just felt terrible all the time. Finally, I started going to a new chiropractor, who was really promoting health and nutrition (8 years ago). He did this thing with muscle testing. He used muscle testing to determine how many vitamins I needed to take and what type.

During this time I kept telling Doctor #2 I was frustrated by the weight gain and the fact that I didn't feel normal, so he changed my thyroid medication to something called "Levothyroxine." This drug was actually hand compounded at a local pharmacy and I seemed to begin to have a life again. It was also at that point I decided to get off the Bextra and the antidepressent. I believe that the Levothyroxine was helping me, along with the vitamins my chiropractor was suggesting that I take. I began feeling better and after 20 years of being out of school actually went back to college and completed my degree.

Then Doctor #2 moved out of the state, and I had to find another doctor. At the local phamacy, I saw some liturature for an endocrinologist (Doctor #3) in a nearby town and decided that perhaps I should see a specialist because I began having issues with soreness in my neck and losing my voice. I would lose my voice for a week at a time, I couldn't even speak above a whisper. I certainly couldn't sing. I just felt like something was really wrong with my neck. I continued taking the Levothyroine in various doses but it didn't seem to help whatever was going on in my neck. He suggest an ultrasound of my neck and fond a lump on my thyroid. He wanted to do a needle biopsy on to see if it was cancerous, or if it was a non-cancerous tumor. When he showed me the size of the needle, and the fact that this was located next to my jugular vein, I questioned him about that. I thought, there's no way I'm going to let someone stick a needle deep in my neck next to my jugular vein. Doctor #3 really wanted to take my thyroid out. He wanted to completely take it out, and his solution was for me to take a drug for the rest of my life. When I questioned the procedure, he said I was welcome to get another opinion.

I decided to have an indepth conversation about all these issues with my chiropractor and he recommended a medical doctor that was more into treating with nutrition than with drugs. This led me to Doctor #4. He did blood tests, to see what levels my thyroid was was at. He recommended that I go on a strict diet. That's when I got off all grains, all sugar and sweeteners, and basically was just eating meat, most vegetables, and some fruit. I was on that plan of eating for about 8 months.

When I started with that diet, I started rapidly losing weight. I wasn't eating flour or sugar, and basically everything I ate was plain. The interesting thing is, now that I'm almost 50, I feel better now than I ever did in my 30s. I've lost 25 lbs. and I've kept it off for nearly a year. I think right now I weigh what I'm supposed to weigh.

In addition to the restricted diet, Doctor #4 also put me on something called "Nature Throid," It is a perscription drug, but it's made of natural ingredients rather than sythetic. That has been a huge part of my recovery.

Q6: How do you feel now? How did you feel about all the stuff that happened to you?
A: I feel like I've wasted 15 years of my life, that I can't ever get that back. One year, I was so frustrated, I walked a thousand miles on the treadmill, and I didn't lose any weight! In what world is that normal? I felt a little stronger, but I didn't lose any weight. That thyroid drug didn't allow me to. So every time I tried to take my health into my own hands, I just didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle. Which, for me, was the diet and natural thyroid medication.

Q7: What about the thyroid testing and biopsy? Did you have that? What happened with that?
A: My current doctor is monitoring my thyroid and the lump now. It feels so much better though. My voice is stronger, and the soreness in my neck is nearly gone. Doctor #4 says that the soreness was actually from my lymph glands trying to cleanse my body of the foods I could not break down (flour and sugar). I am hoping that by following the restricted diet my body will heal. If not, I certainly will do whatever is necessary to stay healthy.

Q8: What do you think is happening with all of these mainstream doctors?
A: As far as thyroid disease, I think a lot them are looking at a blood test to determine what they should do for you, but they are deaf to the cries of those who do not feel "normal". I think women are struggling because they don't feel good. One thing that stands out to me is that I feel like I've lost more than a decade my life feeling terrible. I was so desperately looking for a solution. After four different doctors, it's just so frustrating that I can't get that time back. I didn't know I could have felt this good in my 30s.

In defense of medical doctors, they are looking to treat you in the only way they know how, which is with a drug. The doctor I'm seeing now is using vitamins and the restricted diet to help the body to heal itself. Then, if you NEED some kind of drug, he will make sure that you take it in a form that will help you, rather than work against the body healing itself naturally.

Q9: Tell me more about the diet and how it helped you.
A: At the very beginning I did not cheat on the diet at all. I was very determined to give this change of eating a fair chance, and in the back of my mind I was determined to avoid surgery if possible. I was also staying away from dairy. When I would eat a piece of pizza or something it would make me sick so that also was a motivator to stick with the diet.

It's been 10 months now and I'm able to eat foods on a limited basis and be okay. But generally I'm still sticking to the diet. I try to avoid eating sandwiches. I pay more attention to the ingredients that are in foods. I'm still only eating sugar and flour in very limited amounts. I feel like me again [after the diet]. I didn't realize I felt that bad. I didn't realize I could feel this good.

Well, I think you have to be personally responsible for your health. I was trying to be, I was trying to be responsible and do healthy things, but until I started on this diet, I didn't realize how bad we, as Americans tend to eat. I always had meat and vegetables, but the way you prepare food, isn't always as healthy as it could have been. Getting away from dairy has really helped me too.

… when I was on the strictest form of the diet, it was plain meat, most vegetables (no potatoes), only some fruits (no bananas, grapes) very low sugar fruits. Pineapple was okay, and apples, and pecans, and walnuts, and eggs were okay. Typically in the morning I would make eggs, and maybe I would cook some kind of vegetable to go with it. As a maintenance diet, I'll eat leftovers from supper for breakfast, or eggs. Apples, fruits and nuts. I'm still not eating much potatoes at all. I'm really trying not to eat bread, but I think that I’m still in the healing process.

Q10: What would you say to women in your situation? What advice would you give them?
A: I know that there's a lot of women out there with the same struggle. They trust their doctor, and their doctor says "take this and that," and it's supposed to help them feel better. I know a lot of women my age who feel terrible constantly. I know a lot of it's their diet, as it was with me. But when you're taking a bunch of different drugs, well, there's no quick fix. I think that's what they were peddling me, a quick solution to feeling better. Don't give up. Keep looking until they find a solution that works for you. I know there are other women out there who are looking to improve their health. By simply taking a drug, you're putting the responsibility of YOUR health onto somebody else.

Q11: Any final thoughts?
A: In this whole process, I really tried to be a good patient and follow the directions that doctors gave me. In the long run, I am so thankful that I kept searching until I found some solutions to help me deal with the changes in my body. The only medication I currently am taking is NatureThyroid and am working with Doctor #4 and my chiropractor for the vitamins I need to maintain good health.

Words cannot express how thankful I am that I finally found a solution that is working for me. So to encourage others out there who are struggling with thyroid issues....Keep searching until you find something that works for you. Take personal responsibility for your health and whatever you do...don't give up.

Thanks for this interview! I hope that this helps someone out there who may have thyroid issues.

Does anyone struggle with thyroid or undiscovered health issues? Does anything here stand out to you? Any thoughts on natural treatments or this woman’s experiences?

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Midwives and Doulas

2009-12-27T20:00:00.004-05:00

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If you are seeking a natural, drug-free birth (no matter where you want to give birth), midwives and doulas can help you to achieve your goal by supporting you and attending your birth. Midwives and doulas receive special training in what natural birth should be like, while OBs are trained surgeons. If something's wrong, you want an OB. But if you're a healthy, normal woman seeking a drug-free experience, a midwife and/or doula is the way to go.

First, let's look at the different types of midwives and doulas.

Doula -- A doula is a labor coach or support. They are women (I've never heard of a man being a doula; the idea is that a woman who has a particular interest in birthing and often experience birthing naturally supports another woman) and they are hired to attend a woman's birth. There are actually different types of doulas, and different services that they can provide. They do not replace a husband's role in the birth if the woman has a husband, but can be a sole labor coach/support if a woman does not have a husband or other partner (mother, sister, friend, etc.). Doulas are NOT trained to actually deliver babies and do not have any type of medical training. They function as a support. At a hospital, a doula can function as an advocate for the laboring woman in discussing any interventions with hospital staff and guiding the woman as to what is necessary.

Prenatal doula -- This is a doula who meets with a woman prior to her birth, and may provide supplementary prenatal care (I don't think this is common, but sometimes midwives-in-training will do this; we have the option locally). She will also meet with a woman during her labor and support her then, and may even meet with her once or twice after the baby comes just to make sure everything is going well (breastfeeding, emotional stability, etc.).

Birth doula -- This is the most common. This doula will meet with a woman or couple once or twice before the birth to learn the couple's wishes. Then, the doula will either meet the couple at home or at the hospital (some doulas will come to your home even if you are planning a hospital birth, to support you in early labor) and stay throughout labor. This doula may or may not visit the new mom postpartum.

Postpartum doula -- This doula can help a mom after her baby comes with breastfeeding questions, light housework, watching children (new baby while mom showers, or older children) and generally makes mom's life a bit easier in the early days.

There are doulas which combine the above services. Every doula is different. The least expensive options are usually doulas who meet with you once prior to birth, and meet you in active labor and stay through birth, and don't visit after. The more expansive the doula's services (more prenatal visits, coming earlier in your labor, visiting and providing support after birth), the more expensive she will be. Doulas can range from $200 - $1000 depending on area and services provided.

There are several places to find doulas: asking neighbors/friends, checking with local OBs (not all will be supportive of doulas, but some will have names), asking local midwives (many of whom may also work as doulas), looking on Craig's list, or checking DONA or Childbirth International. There are several other websites, as well, if you search the internet. Make sure that your doula is certified and/or experienced, and don't hesitate to call her references.

There are also several types of midwives out there.

Certified Nurse-Midwife: This can be a man or woman (though more commonly a woman), and it is a person who was first an RN, and then became certified as a midwife. This type of midwife frequently attends hospital births, and in certain areas will also attend home or birth center births (unfortunately there aren't a lot of birth centers). CNMs typically work closely with OBs, seeing patients who are low-risk but can transfer to their OBs if necessary at any point in time. CNMs are a great option for women who want or need a hospital birth but would like a natural approach if at all possible (knowing there's a back-up OB right there if necessary).

Certified Professional Midwife: This type of midwife is also called a direct-entry midwife, because she (and rarely, he) learns midwifery primarily through an apprenticeship. That is, she attends and observes births, then works under trained, experienced midwives. She learns to use a doppler, feel for the baby's position, checking maternal and fetal heart tones (with a fetoscope), check the mother's progress internally, etc. In states where CPMs are legal and monitored, they can attend hospital or home births. In states where they are not legal (including Ohio, where I live), CPMs attend only home births. CPMs tend to be a great option if you are looking for a totally natural, medical-free birth, because their perspective tends to be different than a CNM who works in a hospital and with OBs. Most CPMs, though, do know OBs and have preferred back-up doctors and hospitals. It depends on what you are comfortable with.

For a list of questions to ask when selecting a midwife or a doula, read my post on home birth.

In the U.S., there is sometimes a legal issue surrounding birth. There are states in which home birth is technically illegal. That is, a woman is allowed to birth anywhere she chooses, with anyone she wants in attendance, but midwives can be prosecuted for attending intentional home births, and brought up on charges of "practicing medicine without a license." This doesn't occur in states where midwives are legal and regulated.

The problem with midwives being unregulated is that women who want home births will usually find a midwife anyway, but there is no accountability. This means that midwives who are not certified and may have had negative birth outcomes can continue to practice. It also means that reputable, safe midwives can be arrested and taken to trial simply for helping women give birth. It also, unfortunately, means that in extreme cases, families can be prosecuted even after a SAFE home birth! This seemed impossible even a few months ago, until the Levier family was brought up on charges following their child's safe home birth (the mother was having minor issues after birth and the midwives took her to the hospital to be safe, and she was later prosecuted even though she is now fine and the baby never had issues).

Small aside: It makes me angry, that in a world where alcohol, cigarettes, and other "vices" are legal, and abortion is legal, that women can't choose to birth their babies where they want. Women don't HAVE to choose home birth, obviously, but it should be an option that is free and open to them, and even supported and encouraged! It is so very backwards that a woman can end her pregnancy, and her baby's life, but she cannot give birth to a healthy, normal baby in her own home.

Please support a woman's right to birth where SHE chooses by ensuring that trained support people (midwives and doulas) are available.

More Links:
Mother's Choice
National Association of Certified Professional Midwives
North American Registry of Midwives
Midwives Alliance of North America
Doula Network
Adventures of a Midwifery Advocate
The Big Push for Midwives

Have you ever used a midwife or doula? Is this issue important to you? Please share your thoughts!

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Final Homemade Christmas Update

2009-12-26T20:00:00.004-05:00

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Our homemade Christmas was a success!!

We completed a homemade gift for everyone. I'll be blogging about some of the more exciting things separately, so that if you are interested in the projects yourself, you will have a how-to guide. But here is a run-down on what we ultimately did for everyone:

My mom -- A reversible Japanese-print vest, and a candle.

My dad -- Rice-filled heating pads (made with flannel) and some healing cream (based on the diaper-rash cream posted earlier).

My brother -- A soft, fleece throw.

Ben's mother and sisters -- Liquid face moisturizer, and body cream

Ben's dad and brothers-in-law -- A set of rice-filled heating pads (2 short, 1 long, and 1 u-shaped one for the shoulders).

Niece -- 6 doll diapers

Nephew -- Wooden blocks (all different shapes -- columns, squares, rectangles, arches, etc.) We're going to make Daniel a set too for his birthday!

Bekah -- 2 sheet sets and 6 doll diapers.

Ben -- I bought him a Star Wars Lego, because he's been wanting one. :) But I also made a series of 12 cards for him and decorated them a little. On each card is something I promise him, like "We will go bowling, just the two of us." Some promise a favorite meal at home with no kids. They are all different. I thought of this because when I asked him what he wanted for Christmas, he said "Nothing material, I just want to spend time with you." Obviously I couldn't reveal any part of this gift earlier because he reads this blog daily!

We've already posted a how-to post on the blocks. If anyone is interested in any of the other projects, leave a comment and I'll post on those, too!

What did you get for Christmas? How was your holiday and what did you do?

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Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T20:00:00.001-05:00

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Merry Christmas!

Since it's a holiday I'll keep it short. We're celebrating today with our family, having a great dinner, opening presents, and of course, remembering Jesus. We always spend a good deal of time listening to the story of Jesus' birth and praying together as a family. We thank God for each of our family members and all of the other blessings we've received over the last year. This has become more difficult as the family has grown larger, and younger. This year we will have four kids (at our extended family gathering), three of them under 2!

We are hoping that this year, Bekah will start to grasp what Jesus' birth really means to all of us. We have a children's version of the story we'll be reading to her (as I've talked about in previous posts), and activities we'll be doing with her. She is also learning about this in her Sunday school class.

Have a wonderful, blessed holiday, and remember Jesus today! Enjoy your families!

Christmas Eve, and One Quick Recipe

2009-12-24T20:00:00.002-05:00

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Seeing as it's Christmas Eve, and I don't have all my presents wrapped (oops!), I only have a quick recipe for you today. It's a great, fast dinner for nights (like tonight), when you're too busy to do much cooking but you want something yummy and Real Food.

Chicken and Potatoes
4 medium potatoes, chopped
2 medium chicken breasts, chopped
1/3 c. coconut oil
2 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. onion powder, or fresh minced onion
1/2 tsp. marjoram
1/2 tsp. thyme
1/4 tsp. sage

Directions:
Put all ingredients in a large skillet. Stir and cook until chicken and potatoes and browned. Serves 2 - 3. (Add a quick salad and some cheese on top if you do dairy and you've got a whole meal!)

Enjoy tonight. Many of you will be heading to church, as we will. It's so important to celebrate Jesus' birth, and to teach our children about it. What an amazing story, the virgin birth of someone who is crucial to our salvation!

Starting in the new year, I'll be doing a series on living a Godly life that will last at least through February, but possibly longer. It will be up on Fridays, for those who are interested.

Merry Christmas, and enjoy your holidays and families!